Monthly Archives: June 2016

Intuitive intelligence and guidance – something the sneerers don’t understand!

Life is untidy. Living is untidy. There are people on the planet who want to be aware, to live, to push the boundaries….and there are those who want to get by, to survive, to ‘just be happy’. I personally have a fairly big ‘history’. I don’t have any friends I grew up with, or went to school with. I moved, and I moved, and I moved. All of my current good friends started as clients (and no, not all of my clients have become good friends, just a few of them!). There are times I wish I could tidy up my past and make it sweet, neat, clean and tidy. But of course I can’t. WE can’t, any of us. I have come up with certain goals to fulfill by December 2018, and I like the sound and feel of them. But I know I have to take the steps, to be consistent and persistent, if I am to see these goals manifest in the ‘real’ world. And I will need others, along the way. No man, or woman, is an island. 

Life is a series of experiences, a set of stories that join together. Material security/status is important, of course…….but there is something else, something we have to feel. We have to ‘feel’ one another’s stories, and ponder them. I was thinking about Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman, going round the world (twice, in different directions), on motorbikes, and the amazing people from far flung countries and cultures, they encountered. The young man, a teenager, from Africa who had been kidnapped, like so many children, and forced into terrible acts, and into becoming a mercenary. He managed to escape and found his way home, but others were afraid of him, because of his experiences. He said he used to have terrible dreams, but they were easing, and he was entering into education. I often think about him, though our paths are unlikely to cross. I was humbled by his calm acceptance of his terrible ordeal, and the legacy of his life. Somehow he is special…….there is something for him to do and be, something that billions of other human beings will never realise. But he is lonely, and will always be lonely. No matter that a woman would love him, and he her, no matter that he would father children who will adore him, and vice versa……he will always be alone in this world, at his deepest core. And he will accept that. He will remember those who were also taken, he will see their faces, re – live their fate. He will always live in a world most others cannot, and would not want to, enter. Including his mother. I don’t want to be him, but I am in awe of him, and I feel that, despite his trauma and sadness, he has something more valuable than the greatest wealth on the planet. But it is a currency that is not recognised on planet Earth……..a currency that will be accepted and redeemed somewhere else, in a much bigger picture. Call me idealistic, unrealistic, I really don’t care…..at all. There are zillions and zillions of opinions out there……so what? 

There is something within all of us, but it is often over – ridden by the need for security, for validation, for acceptance by the ‘smart’ people. I myself have been dismissed and sneered at, because of the work I do. But realistic thinking, personal responsibility, mature assessment……these are the things I teach and preach. A balance between rational and intuitive thinking. Self – awareness, a willingness to commit to ongoing personal development….what is wrong with that? Prediction, based on past/habitual behaviour, but also on bigger potentials, IS possible, and IS feasible. I know…..I have been able to look back and monitor results gained. The sneerers are not as smart as they reckon they are, but the space cadets invite reactions that are based on uneducated, unexplored opinions. Humans developed two aspects of mind: the rational and the intuitive. How smart can you be, if you sneer at, and dismiss, half that the mind has to offer? And you know, working with human beings in any kind of need demands a lot, especially if the need is emotional. It is worthy of note, for anyone anywhere on the planet who spends their working life tending to other people’s emotional pain, fear or lack of direction……it IS as valid as any ‘real life’ occupation!

I am proud of my work, though it has taken many years to be so. I know for sure my intentions are always positive, and I have faith in my intuitive ability, because I have results to refer to, and measure it all by.  I used to feel lost….stuck between the space cadets and the con artists, and the scientific fraternity…..as if I was no – one, in a no – man’s land. Unwilling to tell people what they wanted to hear, unwilling to enter into idealistic ‘fortune telling’, but often snubbed by people I came across in everyday life. There is (and I am being petty here) a guy I came across a few times at motorbike rallies who was particularly dismissive of people ‘like’ me, and always remained aloof and superior….not because of the person I am, but because of what I do for a living. No, not a friend, that is true. But a reminder of how far we still have to come, where the rational and intuitive aspects of mind are concerned. The intuitive mind IS the gift…….a gift that can keep on giving, but only if opened and appreciated!

Deceased relatives impatiently waiting to communicate……and ‘spirit’ kisses!

These are my stories, about my own personal experiences. I am not inviting debate or argument, and have no interest in attempting to prove anything to anyone. We believe what we believe, and we only alter those beliefs if and when we choose to.

In the days when I visited other people’s homes to give consultations, I was once left waiting, in the converted loft, for the next customer to arrive. A man and woman climbed the stairs and seated themselves upon two chairs that were not actually there…….because the man and woman were not solid, in the physical sense. They were what is commonly called ‘spirits’. They did not acknowledge me, and after a couple of minutes they left, the same way they came. Eventually the customer arrived, and we began the consultation…….and once again the couple climbed the stairs and took their old seats. I explained what I was seeing, and described how the man and woman looked, and the surprised customer exclaimed “That’s my mum and dad!” What interested me the most was the fact that they obviously got fed up waiting for their daughter to quit gabbing downstairs, and decided to come back later. I don’t know where they went, or what they did, but as soon as the ‘communication’ was over, they left. 

On the same evening, once again I was left waiting whilst the customers chatted downstairs about what I said to who, when I felt a tingle, a tickle, on my top lip……and I suddenly became aware of a little dark haired girl, holding the hand of an adult, stepping back from me……she had kissed me on the lips! And then I heard her say “Can she see me?”, so I waved, she smiled and waved back, and was gone. I did not discover who the child was, but was fascinated by the fact that she could see me long before I saw her. We human beings, in solid physical form, talk about seeing ghosts or spirits……..and clearly there are non – physical beings who talk about seeing humans! And I bet others tell them that humans don’t exist, and that they are alone in their particular dimension!

As I have said before, I don’t currently actively promote spiritual communication, for a number of reasons. I am as fascinated by life in the physical world as I am by existence in a non – physical dimension. More so maybe, because whilst we are here we have to live, and grow, and develop…….and I believe that everything we do and everything we become is completely important and relevant, for ever and ever……especially beyond physical life. And if it is possible to catch glimpses of other – dimensional beings, it is definitely possible to catch glimpses of our future possibilities and pitfalls!

WHY and HOW predictions can be useful! An investment in our future.

I am truly not blowing my own trumpet here, but I was really pleased to receive this email, and I wanted to share it…….for a specific reason:

Hi Leanne,

I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you. I wasn’t sure why, but I felt compelled to dig up this consultation and saw that it had been almost a year since it had been done. Several things have already come to pass, including the people mentioned. You gave me valuable insight on my main question and I was able to cut myself from the situation without any attached emotions, while managing to learn from it. You have always delivered the good and bad with such kindness that each consultation has felt like having coffee with a (wise) friend!

Thank you for all,

Viv 🙂 x

This lady has highlighted what I love about my work……the actual ‘making a difference’! BUT, it only came about because she re – visited her consultation, further down the line. Funnily enough, on the same day I received this, another customer was emailing me to say she couldn’t see how what I had predicted could come about……she just couldn’t see that stuff unfolding. My work is an ongoing cycle. Dismiss now, understand later. We know what we know right now, at this moment in time. We feel, believe, and see things from who we are today…….not who we will be in another year or three or ten. I politely asked that lady what she had been expecting to hear……why, if she was sure she knew what was coming up, she had chosen to have the consultation. She said because having readings (I call them consultations, because the customer consults with me) was fun, and maybe she was looking for validation. But you can see how tricky that can be. I don’t think consultations are fun. Sometimes a decent consultation hurts like hell. My own life has hurt like hell, many times………and I have resisted change, growth……the truth even……as much as the next person (maybe more). But I have benefited ( I had to look up the spelling on that last word……two T’s or one?) from the wisdom and experience of many others, thanks to books and Youtube. Someone out there always knows, for sure, what I need to know. And I myself know some stuff other people need to know. Not everything. Not every single last detail. But some stuff. But if it is all immediately dismissed, how can it be helpful, in the bigger picture? I suppose that depends upon what we are seeking, and how open we are to the idea of that ‘bigger picture’.

Anyway, there it is. I will proudly add this email to my ‘testimonials’ page, as Lewis Hamilton and Seb Vettel add their F1 trophies to their collection. True, I didn’t risk life and limb, but I was doing what I know how to do. And I will always celebrate the victories!

 

Paranoia OR intuitive/gut instinct? Stay away from the vortex!

She walked into my house with the weight of the world on her shoulders. She described herself as paranoid, and her anxiety was palpable. I really had to work with her, to steer her away from the vortex of emotional drama, to get her feet back onto dry land, so to speak. By the time she left, her shoulders were lifted, she was smiling, thanking me profusely. Why? Because I was able to show her that she was not, after all, paranoid, and that the anxiety she said was becoming ‘louder’ in her head, every single day, needed to be listened to. Not overwhelmed by, not drowned by…….but listened to. 

Several times she slipped back from calm thinking towards the entrance of that bubbling vortex of miserable anxiety and over – thinking (overlaid by attempts to shut it all up and bury it)……and I had to be firm with her. No more vortex. Pause, breathe, and then go to the bottom line. Work out the facts, and separate them from the drama. And then respond from that place, if necessary, rather than repeating old reactive patterns. Why? Because if she genuinely wanted to move away from feeling so emotionally over – loaded and trapped, if she wanted to feel more in control of her everyday life…..and her future…….the old way would not cut it.

I did my usual: ‘if you do this, then this is how things will be; if you do that, then that is how things will be. Here are your choices. These are the potential pathways that lie ahead, where your personal development, and your relationship, is concerned. You are not stuck….or at least you don’t have to be. There are no magic, instant answers……but there ARE choices, and there is more than one potential pathway to follow’.  I gave my best, as I always do, but when she left my home, she was on her own, so to speak. She had a recording of her consultation to refer back to, when necessary, but she alone can keep herself safe from the vortex, until it no longer poses a threat. I wish her the best of luck…….she has great potential, but she also has consistent work to do. I believe in her……and hopefully she will believe in herself.

It is easy to behave in a paranoid way, and to think idealistically and unrealistically. We are all guilty of it, from time to time (though yes, it has to be said, I have come across a few who have turned paranoia and idealism into an olympic sport!). However, sometimes our ‘gut’, our inner knowing, is absolutely right…..and it noisily eats away at us until we quietly and calmly listen to it. And once it feels we have genuinely listened, it tends to stop munching and shut up. However, it is difficult to separate what is pure desire/wishful thinking or fearful/paranoid thinking, from what is intuitive, gut prompting……especially when we are hovering dangerously close to the emotionally reactive vortex of misery and temporary insanity! I am pretty sure we can feel the difference, if we really stop, breathe, and step back a little. Gut prompting is insistent, and feels solid, even if it is painful. The other is changeable, draining, and uncomfortable in a different way…….somehow, deep down inside, we do know. But maybe we don’t want to know, because knowing would mean we would either have to take action, or let go of something. Sometimes, unconsciously, the pain of not being sure is more comfortable than facing change. You know, we humans are too darned complicated for our own good!

 

Relationship pain……..how do we KNOW when to hang on or let go?

Obviously people only consult with me when they are lost, or stuck, or have problems, or questions they hope can be answered. Sometimes the whole lot applies! It is the nature of the business. So, it stands to reason that anyone who contacts me with regard to their love life has issues or doubts, which are over and above the ‘usual’ relationship challenges that most of us face periodically.

Broken heart

There are certain situations that come up again and again, regardless of where people are on the planet, and regardless of their culture. It seems that there are only a small number of potential ‘hazzards’ we are likely to come up against, and that we tend to have a limited number of possible approaches or ways of responding, where relationship issues are concerned. Of course, to a heartbroken or angry lover, that won’t cut any ice, because he or she feels as if it is only them who are hurting so badly, at that moment in time. And often this heartache and anger renders the sufferer ultra – sensitive to anything they can’t bear to hear, face or take – on board, until much further down the line.

But DO relationship problems have to mean that all is lost, and can never be found again? Of course not……but it really, really depends upon the nature of the problems, AND the circumstances that led to those problems. There is a dreadful condition that can strike human beings, one that infiltrates the heart and mind, taking control and creating emotional mayhem: I call it ‘romantic – reality – blindness’. The good news is that it usually runs out of steam……..eventually. The bad news is that that can, on occasions, take longer than is healthy. And the REALLY bad news is that sometimes it DOESN’T run out of steam at all……it just transfers itself to any new relationship the bearer becomes involved in. The good news there is that the bearer CAN, anytime they choose, make a genuinely concerted effort to recapture control of the heart/mind centre, forcing out the emotional dis – ease that is romantic – reality – blindness……..freeing him/herself again to attract a mutually happy and healthy relationship……that comes with all the ‘normal’ warts of love, of course! 

The question is, though…….how do we KNOW whether a relationship that is going through a rough phase……OR a relationship that is more about conflict and resistance than love……actually holds any real potential for healthy, long term commitment? If that question was easy to answer, there wouldn’t be so many people hanging onto incredibly painful situations, for so long.

are you the one

I think that first of all we need to decide what our personal version of love looks and feels like…….and what we believe a relationship ‘should’ look like.This is a biggie, because if we say we love someone, whilst also believing that they need to change quite a lot about who and what they are, in order for us to be happy with them, it may be we want different things……and a different kind of partner.

So, if one person really wants commitment and all that it involves, but the other half isn’t ready for it, or says that they are whilst behaving as if they AREN’T, who wins? What would love do, under those circumstances?

If one person has turned their back on a relationship, either completely or partially, whilst the other half still wants it wholly, who wins? What would love do, under those circumstances?

If one person comes on strong with another, either promising ‘more’, or implying genuine interest……only to disconnect, either completely or partially……who wins? What would love do, under those circumstances?

If a couple are more in conflict than in harmony and agreement, if one or both refuses to compromise, to behave in an emotionally mature way, point scoring and undermining……who wins? What would love do, under those circumstances?

If one person has a ‘double’ life, who wins? What would love do, under those circumstances?

If we are hanging onto the ‘good times’ we shared in a relationship, even if they ended years ago, who wins? What would love do under those circumstances?

If billions of people are able to attract and maintain relatively balanced, acceptably healthy long term relationships, why can’t everyone? Is it luck? Is it timing? What else is involved? And what do we believe?

Do we believe a relationship should be about being inseparable from one another?

Do we believe a relationship should provide material security?

Do we believe a relationship should always remain in the intense, ‘honeymoon’ period?

Do we believe that real love is edgy, unreliable, exciting, and requires self – sacrifice?

Do we believe love will make us happy, fill a gap within us?

Do we fear love, distrust it, whilst craving it?

Do we desire love, whilst not wanting anything to change our lifestyle, or asking too much of us?

Do we confuse need, or fear of rejection, or familiar patterns, with love?

Have we learned to tell the difference between:

someone who genuinely cares for us, has regard and respect for us, even if, for whatever reason, they are behaving out of character or struggling (temporarily) with life

AND

someone who clearly does not care about how we feel, who talks the talk but whose consistent actions provide no evidence of commitment, who picks us up and drops us down

AND

someone who hasn’t been in touch for weeks/months/years

And if not……why not?

REMEMBER, there is one fact many of us lose sight of, especially when afflicted by romantic – reality – blindness: LOVE has to start with ourselves. If we don’t understand how actual love behaves, because maybe we never really experienced it in childhood, we won’t be deeply familiar with it. There are other reasons, of course, for human beings not developing a genuine awareness of what is loving, and what isn’t, no matter how it is dressed up. But it is never too late to see love in a different light.

miss piggy

I would say that:

If the object of our desire continually makes promises they do not keep, especially from afar, they have no real respect or love for us. Attraction, maybe……casual affection……but not love.

If the object of our desire has not instigated real, quality – type contact with us for months or years, they have no genuine interest in, or love for, us. We are not on their radar.

If the object of our desire also has another relationship, they may well care for us, but they come with a lot of potential problems……and if we look beyond exciting, romantic love, to the bigger picture of the ‘real’ future, would both parties have enough genuine love and emotional strength to withstand all that permanent togetherness would demand……AND to survive the ongoing fall – out that would inevitably follow?

If we have interest in more than one person as a possible partner, or have someone we ‘fall back’ on whenever we are without a love interest (or if WE are the one someone else falls back on!), is love involved?

If we are honestly and truly experiencing more lonely days/nights than satisfying ones, if we are consistently analysing and chewing things over, if we are always waiting and wondering, if we are spending more time fretting about our love life than any other area of life, if we are unable to plan ahead, if we long to feel ‘normal’ and be in a ‘normal’ relationship, if we find ourselves becoming defensive and reactive (or secretive) about our love life, if we go to one psychic, tarot reader or intuitive consultant after another, asking about our love life……..it is unlikely to be love.

And if we know, deep down inside, that we are doing something, feeling something, allowing something to continue, something we would hate to see a friend experiencing……..if we find ourselves avoiding certain people because we know they are going to challenge our actions, concerned for our well – being…….and if we say things like “Yes, but WE are different to other people…….this really IS love”, or “It MUST be love if I feel this intense/connected…..and I am prepared to wait forever for him/her to recognise that I am their soulmate”,……..it is unlikely to be love.

If we believe love demands emotional pain, conflict and self – sacrifice, that it has to be earned and proved, in order for it to be REAL love……IS it love?

Broken heart 2

You know……I reckon, deep down inside all of us, we do know when a relationship is worth sticking with, even when it is going through a bad patch……as much as we do know when it ISN’T. And it is the second knowing that hurts the most, leading us to hang on with both hands, furiously defending ourselves along the way. It is the second knowing that causes us to forget to love ourselves, first and foremost. To be able to give someting, we have to have it, in the first place……time, energy, money……..love. Showing love to ourselves shows the world that we believe we are worth loving………not ignoring, not avoiding, not being lied to, not being made second best…..but LOVING.And it is never too late to start!

Love you

 

 

 

INFIDELITY……..ONE OF LIFE’S WAYS OF TELLING US WE REALLY NEED CHANGE.

Are you accepting of, but bored, with life…..resigned to ‘how things are’? Do you say that you are happy enough with your life, whilst knowing that what you are actually doing is just getting by?  Who really, truly knows you…..knows what your long-held (though maybe forgotten) dreams are? Who really understands what you are actually thinking, feeling, and fearing? How many times are you misunderstood, misinterpreted, second guessed…….even by people who love you? More importantly, how well do you actually know and understand yourself? How much of yourself and your dreams have you let go of, in favour of survival, and life in the ‘real’ world? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if someone could put a hand into your very core, and pull YOU out…….from beneath the debris of years, other people’s expectations, disappointments, rejections and self – conscious, self-imposed judgements? What if, like a crumpled map, you could be smoothed out, the creases and folds ironed flat, so that you could be fully viewed and read? The REAL, authentic you, at last, seeing the light of day.

And if you could do all of that, what would change? Everything, something……or nothing? Would you still love the same people? Would you hold the same beliefs? Would you be a different you, mentally, emotionally and physically? What would you honour, and what would you dismiss? 

Now……the 2 biggest questions of all:  do you believe you CAN change yourself, and that you still have time to shift the course of your future, regardless of current circumstance? And if so, do you believe you have the courage to set change in motion, allowing it to gather momentum, without pulling it back or stopping it in its tracks?

I hope you can say, with hand on heart, that you are genuinely, honestly happy with yourself and your life, exactly as it is……OR you can say YES to the above questions. Anything in between is no – man’s land, a twilight zone in which the sun continues to set, but without ever rising.

And feelings of yearning and fantasy are a sign that change is required. They can be very naughty and misleading, those two characters. For example, a woman falls for a man who already has a partner. He welcomes her attention, and stokes the fire, whilst hanging onto his ‘other’ life with both hands (or at least one hand). She believes he is under – appreciated, over – worked, and emotionally un – supported. He causes her to feel as if she is the sexiest woman on the planet, and the only one who has ever understood him. They present the best of themselves to one another, and passion and desire abound.

Fast forward to a time in which he has left his partner to set up home with the new love. They now have to pay bills together and battle round the supermarket on a Friday night. She has bad breath in the morning, and no longer wakes up before he does, in order to do her hair and apply make – up (as she did on elicit weekends away). He leaves skid marks in the toilet, and is snappy when he comes home from work. She realises he is lazy around the house, and he is irritated by her ‘nagging’ about it. All pretty normal stuff…….for normal couples in a normal relationship, but hardly the stuff of heroes and goddesses, yearning and fantasy. (Oh, and on top of that, he feels guilty about hurting the ex, and she is insecure because that ex still has to be communicated with, over certain issues).

OR fast forward to a time in which promises are being made and broken. He can’t leave because, because, because. He wants to, and she truly is the one he really loves…….but it isn’t easy. The fantasy becomes fraught with even more yearning, and perspective is irrevocably lost. She now begins to believe he is the ‘only one’ for her, puts her life on hold, is closed to other potentially fulfilling relationships, and tells herself that ‘true’ love is all about self – sacrifice and endless waiting. She gets stuck on a roller – coaster of highs and lows, and her friends despair for her. He feels useless, guilty and frustrated, and becomes even more dissatisfied with his partner, living a lie, and a double life. He feels stressed and worse than he did before. (Men can appear to be hard hearted, but often they are struggling to express what is really going on within their heart and mind……and that makes them mad!) They both live for the not – often – enough hit of the ‘drug’ that has become their relationship, and he starts to pull away. Not because he is cold, but because of the way his brain is wired. He craves her, but also fears her needs. He doesn’t want her to mess up his safe existence, but neither does he want anyone else to have her. Something, eventually, HAS to give……one way or another. Someone has to break the spell. Someone has to say “That was meaningful to me, but it was only life’s way of saying I am missing something…….that I am in need of something……but something that is MINE, that is healthy, and that I can build on.” Oh how often we hang onto something painful, because we have told ourselves there is nothing else out there for us! The world is abundant! There is not just one single ‘soulmate’ for us….there are potentially millions. We just probably won’t get to meet them all……but they still exist!

The fact is, what they both really wanted and desired in their lives was change. They attracted one another, unconsciously, unwittingly, because they were both seeking something…..both looking to fill a gap, a need. And of course the ‘third’ party, if he/she becomes aware of the goings – on, definitely also gets to reflect. The first reaction will either be to hang on furiously…..or to let go, big – style. They may feel enraged, having swallowed their own long – term discontent with the relationship, or devastated, not having seen it coming. So many times, having been ‘caught out’, the wrong – doer in a relationship will then fight to keep it afloat. The question is, CAN it be kept afloat……can the ship sail again, or was it always headed for that iceberg? Is it time to man the life – boats, or plug the gap? One way or another, change is required……and at least one person will get to choose the nature of that change.

Of course, there are occasions when two people genuinely ARE right for one another, and the leaving of old lives is the best thing to do, for all concerned, and in the bigger picture (even though it is incredibly painful at the time). Mostly though, infidelity is about dissatisfaction……..and it is that that requires exploring, first and foremost. We humans are supposed to evolve, change and grow……but society, with its deep-seated beliefs, doesn’t make allowances for that. We know that passion, attraction, desire and yearning is not love…….it can LEAD to love…..but it isn’t love. But it IS a sign that our spirit is desperate to grow, to create something wonderful, to fulfill ourselves in the most appropriate way for us. And if we explore that, all kinds of doors can open to us…….healings can occur, new beginnings come about…….the ‘real’ us can see the light of day, and we can respond accordingly. No – one wants to be second best or left behind, few want to hurt others, no – one wants to feel guilty and under pressure.  But we all want to feel genuinely fulfilled, happy and proud. And it all begins with acknowledging that something, or everything, just isn’t right anymore. It is easy, though agonising, to bury our head in the sand. It is harder, yet liberating, to say “THIS isn’t working anymore!”…….and find a way of approaching it.