Someone commented to me recently that they didn’t know what motivated those who have faced great adversity to pick themselves up and keep going. They meant people who have faced MAJOR setbacks, rather than general, everyday challenges that some consider to be evidence that life has ‘got it in’ for them. This person told me that they would not have the strength to fight back and create a new life…..and I believed them. I know this person and I agree…..I don’t believe they would. And I like to think I myself would…..but hey, I can’t be sure. I know of two people who were told that unless they quit the fags and the booze they would probably die…..and they didn’t quit, and they did die. Soon. Even the threat of death wasn’t enough.
Years ago, when my children were young, I HAD to work……and thank God I did, because otherwise I would have gone crazy. I love my children……they are the most precious and wonderful things that could EVER have been gifted to me. I haven’t always been the ideal parent, haven’t always got it ‘right’……but I can tell you I am eternally and humbly grateful for them in my life. However, I have always been kind of independent minded and ambitious. Being a stay – at – home mother was not my forte. I am not even doting grandmother material. Things to accomplish, bikes to ride etc. You will NEVER hear me say “I take each day as it comes, and I just live for my kids,” It’s just not me. BUT there has always been this thing about non – working mothers versus working mothers, and I remember seeing a Dr Phil programme that covered the very subject. As I remember, there were rows of puckered – mouthed women (the stay – at – homes), opposing defensive women (the workers). Dr Phil said: “A racehorse has to run.” I have NEVER forgotten that sentence. I am a Sagittarian……half woman, half horse……I HAVE to run. But over the years, I had enough of other women’s kids in my house, feeding them and seeing to toilet breaks…….without a single enquiry from the stay – at – home mother, for hours on end……at weekends and evenings…..to work out that not ALL stay – at – home mothers are committed to the idea of child – rearing. Some just can’t be arsed to work, or to be an attentive parent. Simple and straightforward. Some definitely WANT to dedicate their time to child – rearing, and they do a remarkable job, and I truly hold my hands up to them. But there are those who hide behind the thing that NO – ONE dares to question…….the importance and difficulty of MOTHERHOOD!
And you know what? I reckon most things, including our approach to parenthood, come down to strength of character. Not education, not social protocol, not the modern tendency towards victim – hood. Individuals, regardless of creed, colour, education or status, decide for themselves. THEY alone make decisions about who and what they are, who and what they will be, and what they will and won’t do, and what they will tolerate. And their mindset is always geared towards growth and improvement. Others will use every trick in the book to keep themselves where they believe they are entitled to be. I am not perfect, I have cocked up in ways others haven’t even imagined possible……but I AM a racehorse. And if you are also a racehorse, like me, you have to run……here, there, amok……who knows where? Thank you, Dr Phil……you explained, perfectly, our need to kick up some dust, and to occasionally poop, in a very public way!