A guy I used to know had a sister who always seemed to be on a lucky streak. She entered and won competition after competition. This guy had ‘issues’ where his family was concerned, and a tendency towards being closed-minded. His nickname for his sister was “The Moose”, referring to her looks, and so you can work out that there was no love lost there!
I suggested that she had developed the mentality of a winner…….she now expected to win, and so she did! He immediately dismissed the idea as rubbish, preferring to believe that for some reason life had chosen to favour her, and not him.
This guy, though with the capacity to be very funny, and kind in his own way, was consistently cynical and mean-spirited. He talked with bitterness about his family, and an ex, who he always referred to as “The Drunk” (I never did discover her actual name). And he blamed HER family, for not telling him that she had had a problem with alcohol in the past, long before she met him. He honestly believed they should have warned him off, from the get – go!
Now, this guy started seeing a friend of mine, and after some time they moved in together. But sadly they had an accident in which they both sustained non – life threatening, but painful injuries. Unable to cope, emotionally, he disappeared into his own head, shut down and gave up. The relationship began to crumble, not because of the injuries, but probably because of the tension and strain, and his withdrawal. One day, she came home from work, earlier than expected, to find him packing to leave. He had intended to move out, without telling her.
A whole number of other things followed, and the last I heard, the company he worked for had run into a major set – back, and staff had to be laid off, hopefully temporarily.
The question is, is this guy just unlucky? Has he been selected by life for misfortune, and forced association with bad, wrong and stupid people? I am sure he believes that that is true.
I have been working on my own mentality, beliefs, and attitudes, for years! I believe, 100%, that the way in which we process and experience our life is almost completely dependent upon the state of our inner world. Realistically speaking, there are always going to be things that get in our way……things we have not directly created, and have no control over. But even then, we get to decide how we are going to respond to those things, tough as they may be. And I am convinced that there is a ‘winning’ mindset, and a ‘losing’ mindset. I have been prey to both, throughout my life! The more we win or are lucky, the luckier we feel, and our mindset becomes programmed accordingly. The more we lose and the unluckier we become, our mindset becomes attuned to expect more of the same. We can break the cycle, either way, at any point, but to develop a winning mindset requires conscious awareness, and genuine commitment to actual, consistent and appropriate action.
You see, we can fall into the trap of visualising, affirming, talking the talk, and preaching it to others…..whilst still being stuck in the losing mindset, deep down inside. And it is THAT that holds us back. I myself HAVE made major improvements in my life (over years!), however, I am still working on one or two areas…..and I realised recently that as I was talking to my subconscious mind, focusing on what I am still attempting to create/achieve, I didn’t sound convincing, even to myself. I thought “You don’t even believe that that can come about……DO YOU?” And it jolted me.
I thought about all of the people I have come across who have been trying to ‘manifest’ for years, but who remain stuck and frustrated. “I have been TRYING!” they cry. “This stuff doesn’t work!” I thought about all of those who talk the talk but who are clearly not feeling it, within their inner world. And I understand how hard it is, to really, truly, honestly believe, at our deepest core. Some people are naturals. They haven’t developed enough irrational fears and beliefs, or the capacity to tear themselves down at the drop of a hat, to consistently sabotage their own progression! Others have to work harder for it, but it becomes easier when we really HEAR ourselves, as we communicate with our inner world. Because then we can set about making the necessary adjustments. And the more positive results we gain, the easier we find it to maintain and even increase the momentum. We have to be on constant guard duty, too, because we could suddenly lose our footing, and dent our winning mindset……and find ourselves sliding backwards into “See……I knew it wouldn’t last!”
I DO believe……no, I KNOW…..that we are strongly influenced by the results we achieve, as we manoeuvre our way through life. The guy I talked about is completely unconscious, and disconnected from his own inner world. And he prefers it that way, which is fine. His life appears to be functional, but joyless……and who the hell would willingly choose that? Well, some people. But not THIS person. Now……time to turn those pathetic, half – hearted monologues with my subconscious mind into full-blown, energised communications!