1) DON’T SET A HONEY TRAP……BE YOURSELF!
If you out there looking for the kind of guy who is ready for commitment, dressing to kill and hitting the joint with a bunch of similarly attired mates, accompanied by the battle cry of “Lock up your sons, the girls have arrived”, may be the wrong approach. And if, when you do get chatting to a guy, you are playing the role of ‘independent gal about town, just looking for a good time’, for all its worth, you may be wasting your own time……and his.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with all of the above…….IF you genuinely ARE an independent gal about town just looking for a good time. The group photos of glamorous ladies that appear regularly on social – networking sites, showing them draped drunkenly around one another whilst blowing kisses at the camera, , may create the illusion that it was ALL happening there (be there or be square, as they used to say in the 80’s), but they can also cover up the reality of another disappointing, lonely evening for those dearly hoping that tonight will be the night when Mr Right shows up.
Now, I am not suggesting that you head out with a wedding dress over one arm, and a tux over the other. Or that you sit in the corner sobbing quietly into your drink because your ex was a lying moron who was like a dog on heat, where other women were concerned. Or that you show up in twin – set and pearls, with just the merest hint of scent dabbed behind your well scrubbed ears. No. Absolutely not.
What I AM saying is that all the posturing and play – acting is more likely to attract the kind of guy who is looking for casual fun, rather than something that could potentially lead to commitment. And the kind of guy who IS looking for a relationship, rather than a fling, is likely to be too intimidated to approach a woman who appears to be out of his league, or likely to turn him down flat. You can still be sparkling, witty and enchanting……if that is your natural style…..but maybe more low key. I have given consultations to literally thousands of women who have consistently fallen into the ‘honey trap’ trap, leading to one let – down after another……one burst of passion and ‘connection’ that all too quickly dies a death and crumbles into unanswered text messages and broken promises……leaving them feeling hurt, angry and frustrated, and sick to the back teeth of men whilst still wishing they could find a ‘good one’. It is painful and soul – destroying, and also incredibly wasteful of your time and emotional energy!
2) DON’T MAKE FINDING A RELATIONSHIP THE CENTRE OF YOUR UNIVERSE!
You can’t pretend, with this one. If most of your emotional energy and thinking time is dedicated to the desire for a committed relationship, a repellent force – field will be created, that will be unconsciously recognised by potentially suitable mates and push what you really want further away. Acting as if you really love being single, and hey, look at what a good time I am having, when in fact you are crying inside, will not fool the great force of creativity and attraction…….our transmissions always, always come from within our inner world, when they are in conflict with our outer world!
Genuinely getting on with your life, enthusiastically creating, shaping and forming it through your goals and aims, will create an attractive force field that will ultimately draw good situations and people towards you……including guys who are open to developing a relationship with a smart, interesting woman who doesn’t believe she needs a man to make her happy……a woman who can afford to be patient, allowing love to find her, because she truly has other stuff to keep her busy and satisfied in the meantime!
3) DON’T START TO THINK THAT MAYBE YOU AND YOUR EX COULD HAVE WORKED THINGS OUT, AFTER ALL!
Largely speaking, exes are exes for very good reasons! There will have been some happy times, some good stuff…..but unless the problems that caused you and he to split have been mutually acknowledged, agreed upon and sorted, nothing will have changed in any way, shape or form. And if you are honest with yourself, and recognise that there are things you yourself need to work on, before entering into a new, hopeful relationship, get on with them, and leave the ex – relationship firmly behind you!
AND REMEMBER: Anyone can get into a relationship……..but not every relationship is of good quality, and a poor quality relationship with no real potential for improvement, is worse than no relationship at all. AND as you read this, out there in the world is a man who is wondering where you are…….the love of his life, just waiting to be found! He won’t be perfect, and neither will you. But if you are coming from a balanced, self – appreciative place, in which you are developing your own life, your transmissions will be way more vibrant and positively charged than if you were coming from an impatient, flat and insecure place, in which everything has been put on hold until you find a ‘decent man’ whose job is to make you happy and give you security. And that man IS waiting out there for you…….you just have to fine – tune those transmissions, so he can pick – up on them and find you!