Tip number 1!
You meet a lady, sweep her off her feet, shower her with attention……and then back off as if she has tasered your testicles. Or you suddenly stop responding to text messages, and come up with excuses for not being available. Or you suddenly ‘come clean’ about your ‘issues’, explaining that you have a lot on your plate right now, and need time and space to sort your head out. This tip says: PACK IT IN! Unless the lady in question has a pet rabbit in one hand and a pan of boiling water in the other, or is measuring you up for a tux, this kind of behaviour is cruel, immature and completely unnecessary!
If you are not looking for anything more meaningful than a fling, be upfront right from the start. And okay, there are ladies out there who will STILL believe they can tame you, no matter what you say, and of course you would be right to end the association quickly, kindly and firmly. But to lead a woman on, causing her to believe you are genuinely interested in her, only to dump her because you develop cold feet, or because you came on too strongly too soon and have now changed your mind, or because you are ‘one of the lads’ and you believe it is just how blokes behave, makes you an arsehole, and a danger to womankind! Small towns all over the world are plagued by boy racers who believe they are equal to Lewis Hamilton because they can push the accelerator pedal through the floor…….and the world of dating is afflicted by the same kind of mentality! If you KNOW that you habitually do this, or are likely to do it, stop and think. And if you have genuine emotional issues that lead you to suddenly panic when it appears that a relationship is developing nicely, seek help!
I have seen women whose self – belief has been crushed to a fine powder, under the weight of cruel and thoughtless treatment, at the hands of one dishonest, unreliable boy – man after another. And you may say “Well they should know better”……but how can they? You aren’t wearing a neon sign saying “Love Rat”……are you? And of course most of us create patterns in our lives, and being drawn to an inappropriate love interest can definitely become a pattern! Better for it to never begin, in the first place!
Tip number 2!
Draw a line between your new partner and your ex. If you have children with your ex, your relationship is now about them……not each other. If you are tied to her apron strings, cut them. You can still maintain an appropriate relationship, but without blurred lines. If your new partner is unreasonably jealous, then of course you have reason to re – consider the relationship……but if you know for sure that your ex still has your testicles on a plate, or that you yourself can’t quite let go, don’t expect another woman to just accept it and live with it! Sort it out, even if it takes time and diplomacy, or don’t get into a new relationship until you have. And NEVER rant and moan about an ex, making her out to be Hitler’s twin sister (even if she was), OR describe an ex as “the only woman I ever loved”……neither are sexy, and both are warning signs that any woman, with any degree of self – worth, will recognise and act upon…..tout suite!
Tip number 3!
If you find yourself getting into an extra – marital affair, don’t dump all of the blame onto your partner…..whilst refusing to leave her, because you ‘don’t want to hurt her’. You ARE hurting her already, and there are other, very real reasons for you not wanting to leave:
You actually do love her, but you are going through a rough patch. You don’t want to leave, but you feel lonely and unappreciated (as she probably also does), and your mistress is filling an emotional gap……and that is as far as you are willing to think, right now.
You don’t want to lose the house, your financial security, contact with the children……and who can blame you? Of course some would say “well stop playing with fire then….”
You don’t want to be the bad guy……because you know that even your own family are unlikely to approve of your actions, even if they can’t stand your partner!
So, if you are going to enter into a romantic/sexual situation outside of your main relationship, at least be honest with your mistress, and don’t encourage her to see your partner as a selfish, uncaring, unkempt slob who never shaves her legs, and has no time for you. Your mistress doesn’t know (or accept) stuff like the fact that you have bad breath and a bad attitude, first thing in the morning, that you leave skiddies in the toilet, and that you haven’t cooked a meal for your partner in years, etc. etc. She thinks she is the woman who will love you so much you will be healed, and eternally grateful. She thinks you are hard done by, and that she ‘gets’ you, and understands what you need, way more than your partner does. She believes you WILL leave your partner for her, because you love her, and your partner doesn’t. You have a choice: either don’t enter into an extra – marital affair OR do, but be honest and don’t add disrespect to disloyalty. And if your mistress turns out to have a big saucepan in her over – sized handbag…….take the family pets and run for the hills. #LOVERATMEN