I am selfish. I am not in business to hand hold or pacify. I want….no, demand……results. Which means my customers HAVE to be motivated to make the changes that will lead them to be more of who they really are, doing things that cause them to feel happier and more enthusiastic about life, as a result of crossing paths with me. THEIR progression is MY progression. So really, it’s all about me!
Now, if I am going to enjoy the kind of results I want to, and put money in the bank, I have to be authentic. I have to function from a place that is naturally me, otherwise I will trip myself up, forgetting the ‘story’ I am spinning. And I have to want the same for my customers……how can they ever really feel satisfied if they haven’t figured out who they really are, and what really matters to them? And how can they fix something they don’t know is broken, if they believe THIS is the problem, when in reality it is THAT which is the problem? And that if they made a change HERE, the effect would ripple outward, positively altering other areas of their life. It has to be about results…….anything less is a waste of time, energy and money!
I recently consulted with a young woman who had been officially diagnosed with the condition of ADHD. She was amazing. Incredibly smart, passionate, aware and determined to do something worthwhile with her life. Oh, and hugely humble and self – deprecating. Life had definitely not been easy for her, and she admitted that she once viewed herself as a victim…..but no longer. However, she was still struggling in some ways, and one of her habits was to inform anyone new she met of her condition, up front, in case they thought she was weird. I asked her if she defined herself through her condition, and she said no initially……but then changed her mind. She realised she was apologising for being who she is, unconsciously asking for approval and acceptance. She said she felt things “too big”……if she was happy, she was ecstatic, if she was down, she felt rotten. I asked her how many people she knows who live life on a flat line, and she said loads. I asked her if she’d prefer to function as a flat – liner and she laughed…..hell no! She expressed frustration at those who dishonestly hijack mental illness, using it as a way of justifying poor life – style and choices. She also passionately described how she intended to help those who genuinely struggled in the way she herself had, helping them to accept themselves and live satisfying, independent lives. I told her she is a hell of a woman, and I meant it. She told me that, as a result of her time with me, she saw so many things differently, as if a light had been switched on…..and I know she meant it. I warned her that once she left me, she had to maintain the motivation, and that there would be good days and not so good days……but to keep the rhythm going, keep the ball rolling. One slip would not be the end of the world, and she could immediately get back on track.
I also asked if she was prepared for the backlash she would receive from some quarters, as she became more vocal on the subject of ADHD, and in her desire to sort the wheat from the chaff……would she be determined enough not to just put up and shut up? She said she believed she could do it. She left me with her shoulders back, her head up, and a big smile on her face. And I am proud to say I played a part in that! She took me with her, in the way of a recording of the session, which will buoy her up when she needs an uplift…….but it is her own will, and her own spirit, that will get the job done.
The bottom line is, I don’t want to work with anyone who isn’t committed to their own life. There is nothing wrong with being at rock bottom, with making decisions that we come to regret, or being lost with no idea of what to do next. That is human, and we’ve all been there, often more than once. But I want results, and I want to work with those who also want results……but only so that I can feel good about my own life, of course! #results