I asked a customer recently why her energy field revealed so much anxiety, so much inner tension……and she told me that it is probably because she wants everything to be perfect. I understood that when she said ‘everything’, she meant ‘myself’. She expected herself to be perfect, and was sinking under the weight of her own expectations.
The thing about her version of perfection is that it doesn’t exist. There is no – one and nothing that will be universally agreed upon as perfect. Not even new-born babies……some people just don’t like them. Not even the most exotic flower, the most beautiful sunset, the most intricate work of art……there will always be acclaim and there will always be critics. The perception of perfection is purely personal!
And as I was walking through the woods, our dog jogging ahead, brown and gold leaves crunching underfoot, the scent of autumn on the mild air, I remembered that THIS day is my perfect, and I drank it in. It will never come again. Our dog is 12 years old now, and she won’t be here forever (sob). If I allow my problems, and all the things I have yet to do, and all the ambitions I have yet to fulfil, to take precedence in my mind, this day will slip away under – valued and unappreciated. And it will join all the others that have gone the same way…..and then I will be old, and there will be no more perfectly imperfect days.
The lady in question is perfect as she is. Pretty, intelligent, analytical, articulate, polite and kind, amongst many other positive qualities. She is also intense, stubborn and a little self – protective, but those things are part of the package that is her, at this moment in her life. There were, of course, stories behind her expectation of personal perfection, as there always are. In my line of work the stories are important, and they need to be understood, to a certain degree. But my main interest lies in the customers’ positive progression, their satisfaction with life, and a sense of connection with the beauty of the here and now…….because tomorrow is always built upon today, and if we are keen to create a tomorrow worth experiencing, today needs to be precious……warts and all.
Sometimes it seems easier to escape into dreams of a better time, to play the waiting game of ‘when everything is as it should be’……but in doing so we risk losing too many beautiful days. I am not suggesting that we should only live for the day, with no hopes, dreams or ambitions. Far from it. But that we should become clear on our ambitions, store them in our mind and heart, and then get on with today. If our life is not the way we want it to be, then only appropriate action will allow it to change. Wishing our problems away will not do the job, neither will focusing on what is wrong, oblivious to the many small wonders of the moments we are currently living.
And I am not suggesting that we never think about the future, that we attempt to prevent our thoughts from wandering further than the next 5 minutes…..but that we make the best use of the here and now, understanding and appreciating its worth, and allowing it to lead us on. I have found that my stress levels drop, and that I feel more positive and hopeful, when I remember to recognise my beautiful days. I don’t know for sure how I am going to fulfil the ambitions and the dreams I have filed away in my mind, but I know that how I approach today just has to be an important part of the process. To quote Aerosmith: “I don’t want to miss a thing”. Perfect.