The powerful woman can be found anywhere on the planet. She may be in Bangladesh, Bahrain, Bermuda or Birmingham. She has become powerful because of the way in which she has processed her life experiences, the perception she has developed, and the approach she has adopted. She may or may not live in comfort and luxury…..wealth and poverty are not absolute indicators of the presence of personal power.
1) The powerful woman does not want to be the same as a man……she wants to be seen and treated as an equal…..different but equal. She has strong feelings, but she doesn’t angrily rant and rave at the world about women’s rights, or claim to be member of the ‘superior’ sex. She maintains her stance, and she holds her head high. She uses her time and energy productively, making her actions express her truth far more authentically than loud words ever could. She may play a role in the liberation of repressed and abused women, or she may be involved in business, or in family and the local community. There are many, many ways to support, encourage and inspire other women and girls.
2) The powerful woman never says “The problem with me is that I always put other people first.” She understands that she is making a conscious choice to go the extra distance, on behalf of those she cares about. Putting others first is not a problem to her, even in the face of exhaustion, because she also allows herself some leeway when she needs to. She recognises that powerful women are more programmed to come up with ideas, to be flexible, to negotiate, to juggle plates, to switch to plan B at the drop of a hat…….and to be firm when necessary! She isn’t a doormat for others’ feet. She chooses to organise and nurture, because it feels natural and right to her. And sometimes she gets mad, sometimes she lets rip…….but she gets it off her chest and re – groups! When a powerful woman rises up, those around her tend to think “Oh – oh……we might just have pushed her a little too far this time!”
3) The powerful woman does not join in with those who talk about ‘girl power’. She isn’t a girl, regardless of her age. And she knows that female empowerment has been a work in progress for centuries, and that she is standing on the shoulders of the millions of determined women who have gone before. And on the shoulders of the men who were supportive of those women, and their right to equality and fairness. And she knows that other women will ultimately be standing on her shoulders, and those of her daughters.
4) The powerful woman isn’t afraid to fail. She doesn’t relish it, obviously, but she doesn’t allow it to keep her locked into the same old space, the same old routine, the same old outlook and behaviour. She is willing to accept that she made decisions that weren’t the best, or that something just didn’t work out, lick her wounds and start again. Because she knows that wisdom can only come through experience. She understands that she can only know what she knows until she knows something else. She accepts that although failure is a painful but vital step towards success, she also comes to recognise and side – step unnecessary struggle. She uses her wisdom.
5) The powerful woman is passionate, enthusiastic and appreciative. She retains a sense of awe and wonder, and she always has hope, even in the face of hopelessness. She knows that intensity is a killer of joy, and a blocker of the flow of emotional and creative energy. She laughs and she cries. She recognises that there are many, many things still not working properly or fairly on planet Earth, and she grieves….but she doesn’t become immobilised. She finds ways to add something of value, to enhance life, rather than contribute negatively.
6) The powerful woman is not afraid to face the dark…..but she is very selective about what she feeds her mind with. She knows that life on Earth is not perfect for so many human beings, and that there are certain things that just have to be accepted right now. However, she does not taint her inner world unnecessarily by filling it with the negative outpourings of the modern world: TV programmes with aggressive and violent story lines, grim ‘real life’ publications, documentaries about those who see themselves as victims of life and who crave their 15 minutes of fame (genuine victims tend to display dignity and humility, and as a result are often over – shadowed by the self – entitlement vultures). She is compassionate, but believes that self – development is the answer to many of the woes experienced by others.
7) The powerful woman may have been subjected to dreadful experiences, or she may have struggled with everyday frustrations and disappointments. But she looks towards the future far more than she looks back. She has her mental and emotional bruising, but she refuses to be held prisoner by the past. She will not allow the memories and the hurt feelings to turn into resentment and bitterness. She doesn’t forget, she may not entirely forgive (who truly does?), and she doesn’t repress, verbally claiming to have dealt with the past, whilst living as if she hasn’t. She recognises that that was then, and this is now. She vows that if she is going to experience hardship and struggle, she is going to get something out of it……she is going to come out the other side of the storm with something she can use for her own greater good. Otherwise it is all just a waste of time, energy and emotion.
8) The powerful woman recognises the difference between love and something that is supposed to be love, but is really need, dependency and fear of rejection. Even if it takes time. Even if she puts herself through emotional pain again and again, until she develops herself beyond it. And she doesn’t have higher expectations of other people, including partners, than she does of herself. She takes responsibility for her own feelings and choices, and although she can love with every ounce of her being, she doesn’t live for someone else, be it a child, partner or parent. She knows that that is too much responsibility to place on another’s heart and mind. She lives for herself, which enables her to give even more to those she loves, to encourage them too to live for themselves.
9) The powerful woman is a work on progress. She is powerful BECAUSE she is willing to be a work in progress, from her first breath to her last breath. The powerful woman is not perfect, is not a self – sacrificial saint……..she is sexier than that, regardless of appearance! Her attitude, her energy, her passion, her humour, her determination, her humility, her dignity, her bravery, her individualism, her big heart, her strong arms……these are what make her sexy……and POWERFUL!#powerfulwomen.