Getting anywhere in life is hard work, but hey, what’s the alternative? Not getting anywhere? Or only getting part way? I sometimes wish I didn’t WANT to get anywhere, but, in reality, I prefer the strain and the impatience that comes with having plans that require huge effort, organisation and self – discipline, to NOT having those plans. I can see and feel how things will be when I create what I want to and make it real, but right now there a few empty spaces, waiting to be filled with the stuff I haven’t yet made real. And I bet you feel exactly the same way.
It doesn’t matter what your goals are, big or little……..they will still demand a lot from you! Losing weight, reaching a certain level of fitness, learning to bake and decorate gorgeous cakes, finding a new home, attracting a decent, mutually supportive relationship, gaining a qualification, visiting a particular country, writing a book, starting a business……..whatever gives you that big buzz, every time you think about it. And it all starts with attitude……
THE ATTITUDE of knowing WHAT you want, and WHY you want it. If you can’t pinpoint why your goal is so important to you, you may well flounder and find yourself giving up, when life throws one of its curve – balls your way. You’ve heard this a million times before, of course, but it isn’t just a self – help platitude……it is a self – help attitude!
THE ATTITUDE that pushes you to seek out as much relevant information as you can find…….to flood your mind with stuff that matches your goal. I am surprised by the number of people who tell me that they really want to achieve this or that, but who are not drawn to immerse themselves in the subject. If we can find time to waste time, then we do have SOME time to dedicate to our ambition! I know people who have started businesses, but who have no passion FOR business, and who do not study or follow those who are already clearly and obviously successful……and it shows.
THE ATTITUDE that accepts that although failure is tough, it’s not the end of the world. I was chewing things over, a few days ago, whilst driving, and listening to radio 4. They were talking about the need for a programme, similar to the old space programme, that would allow real exploration of the oceans. A guy who had been campaigning and campaigning, and failing to get anywhere, said “You just have to pick yourself up and write another proposal”, and I thought “Hell yeah! Thank you…..I WILL!”
THE ATTITUDE of anticipation. I know that if we can’t be happy now, we are unlikely to be happy when we get what we want. Happiness is, as they say, an inside job. A very unhappy, resentful woman told me recently that she would be happy when she was living in a home she owned, rather than rented. Another told me she would be happy if she could move to Australia (even though she’d never been there). I said that there was only one problem. They would be taking themselves with them. HOWEVER, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a bit of yearning, a lot of day – dreaming…….and a dollop of desiring! It’s wonderful to have something that makes us smile whenever we think about it, to look forward to! It gets us through the slow and flat times.
THE ATTITUDE of…….wait for it……you’ve heard it before……gratitude! Blah, blah, blah. I promise you, genuine gratitude is like the juicy filling in a cake, which, on its own, would be okay but not delicious. You know what to be grateful for…..all the usual. Family, friends, pets, health, medical care, technology, education, transport, community……..your home, your job, the first cup of tea of the day etc. But how about stuff like this: we were walking with the dog through the woods, a few days ago, and the weather was beautiful. We sat for a while (Dave’s foot is still badly damaged, following his accident last year) and we got talking to a lady. She was taking pictures of the greenery and the river, to send to her daughter in Abu Dhabi……which led to a discussion about Formula 1. The lady knew a bit about it, as her son – in – law and grandson liked to go to the Grand Prix, when it was there…..which led to a discussion about Lewis Hamilton! She was really nice, laughed a lot, and so easy to talk to. I counted that chance meeting as a bonus, and included it in the lovely memory of that walk. Gratitude keeps us young and keen, regardless of age. The most uninspired and uninspiring people I have met have been those who have told me they have nothing to be grateful for……and when asked about all of the above stuff, their response? “Yeah well, you just take that stuff for granted, don’t you?” And some of these have even had the gall to tell me that they want to be ‘successful’…..as if!
And finally……THE ATTITUDE of attitude! Our attitude needs to be compatible with who we say we want to be. Having a good attitude doesn’t mean we have to be saintly and self – sacrificial. A good attitude is one that has been considered, and that runs in line with our ambition. If that ambition requires us to be determined and directed, straight – talking and consistent, then so be it. We will never adopt an attitude that will sit well with everyone, and we shouldn’t even try. If we have a ‘bad’ attitude that leads us to be consistently difficult and unreasonable, we always know it, deep down inside. I myself have had many conversations…….well, debates, really……with my own attitude. Especially when my ego steps in, telling it to ignore me. My spirit then steps in and tells my attitude to ignore my ego. Who wins depends upon who happens to be more persuasive that day, but my spirit is definitely getting better at gaining the upper hand. Well, most of the time, anyway.#attitude