Monthly Archives: May 2017

Get unstuck! 7 ‘I can’t’ beliefs – and 7 responses!

How do we get unstuck?

You know how it is, when we have dreams, ideas, hopes, and wishes… but a hundred reasons why we can’t make them real? Well, here are just 7 of them…

1) I can’t just go off and do what I want to…I have to live in the REAL world!

You don’t have to just ‘go off’ anywhere. The real world will be wherever you are, whether you do the things you want to or not… because it is always your current version of the real world, not a universally accepted and agreed upon, scientifically certified, signed-sealed-and-delivered version… and it always will be. You might, and probably will, overtime, change your perception of what constitutes your real world… which means your reality will also change!

2) I don’t have enough confidence to do the things I want to!

Of course you don’t. You can only feel confident when doing the things you already know how to do, because you have already done them a zillion times. That’s the way it is, for all of us. If you wait to become confident before you start something new, you won’t be able to start it: the first step, followed by repeated action, always comes first – and confidence always comes second! 

3) I have to have security, so I can’t take any chances!

You are taking a chance every second of every day, and if you are reading this, you have obviously survived, and are clearly still in the game. People die in their beds, in their cars, on the street, at work, in the pub, on the beach, at the store….whilst walking, running, swimming, dancing…breathing, even. Security doesn’t exist in the outside world. It is an inside job for every last one of us. Starting a new job? Well, they ARE paying you, so no loss of security there. Starting a little business? Well, keep doing what you do to earn a living, until you no longer need to, for as long as it takes. Want to learn some new skills? Educate yourself, for free, through books and the internet, until you are able to pay for training that leads to a qualification…if necessary. Many, many successful people have no formal qualifications, and are entirely self – taught.

4) I don’t have time to do anything other than what I am already doing!

Well, that won’t be true forever, even if it IS true now (which, in most cases, it won’t be, entirely). Children grow up. Circumstances change. Start with 5 minutes a day now….in another year/decade that 5 minutes will become an hour, a day, a week…a lifetime. And you could always give your daily routine/habits the once-over, to double-check that you aren’t investing unnecessary time and energy in stuff that isn’t actually doing anything worthwhile for your life…   

5) I don’t know enough about what I want to do, to be able to do it!

Who does? Apart, obviously, from people like brain surgeons. If we all waited to know everything there is to know, about the thing we want to do or become, we’d never get started at all… ever. We wouldn’t have children, for a start off, or buy a house, never mind create a business, or write a book, or bake and ice a wedding cake, or make a dress, or renovate our home, or make – over the garden… you get the picture? 

6) I want to write/paint/cook/sew/heal etc, but I could never make a living doing it!

So, don’t make a living doing it. Just do it. There is this weird belief (tied up with the security thing) that unless something makes money, we can’t do it, or it isn’t worth doing. But having said that, loads of successful businesses started as hobbies… you can’t say for sure where something is likely to take you until you start creating. If you genuinely want to do something, it is better to dedicate one good hour a week to it, every week, than to dump it on the shelf labelled “What’s the point?”, gathering dust for eternity. And you’d be leaps and bounds ahead of those who ‘like the idea’ of something, without having one ounce of will to follow it up! 

7) The thing is, I don’t like the idea of failing!

Neither do I, but I have done so, many times, and I am still here and in the swim. You aren’t made out of cut glass….you won’t shatter into a billion pieces because you mess up, or because some moron ‘hates’ you on the internet, or some people don’t get what you are trying to do, or your loved ones think you are crazy, or wasting your time. You fail every day, to be honest. Fail to make a decent cup of tea, to arrive on time, to pay a bill, to be honest with someone about something, to be reasonable, to be resourceful with your time….and yet, here you still are! And I have a little nugget of wisdom for you, courtesy of Henry Ford: ‘Failure is the only opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely’.

And don’t forget, if you need some honest to goodness insight and guidance, you know where I am…


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Being a ‘GOOD’ anything is not a real goal, unless we know for sure what it means to us!


 I want to be a GOOD parent/child/partner/friend/boss.

I want to have a GOOD job/relationship/home/social group.

The word ‘good’ means nothing to our spirit (which is where the energy of our passion is created), or to our subconscious mind (which stores and operates all of our programmes), or to the energy of attraction (which attracts and repels, according to our transmissions). It doesn’t even mean much to our ego! However, what ‘good’ represents to US, as an individual, in a defined and feeling way, DOES! 

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So, if we say we want to BE or HAVE a good anything, we can’t just take it for granted that there is one bog – standard, generic version of good, that doesn’t have to be defined or explained to our own subconscious mind. We can’t think “Oh it knows what I mean!” expecting it to sift through our jumbled thoughts, looking for the stuff to it needs to accept, save and file away. We can’t measure our progress, or recognise when we are succeeding, if we are working with an undefined goal. We cannot reach a unnamed destination!

I say this often, but energy IS the essence of life…..the Holy Grail! Highly charged energy is much more likely to catch the attention of our subconscious mind, as well as that of the energetic force of attraction. It is much more likely to create a ripple and leave an impression. Adding colour and specific details, when shaping and forming a desired goal, brings it alive, and much more likely to become a reality…OUR reality!

So, if your goal is to be a good parent, define YOUR version of good parenting. Break it down, and recognise the components. 

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To some, being a good parent means being at home, always present. To others it means working at a job, to provide a certain standard of living.

To some it means imposing clear rules and boundaries. To others it means having a relaxed approach, with only basic rules.

To some it means teaching a child that he/she has to earn treats and privileges. To others it means allowing them to have everything they want.

To some it means regular, quality family time. To others it means allowing the child to spend more time doing their own thing.

And the same applies to anything that requires us to be good!

What specifically would we need to be and do, to become our version of a good partner? Learn to understand how they accept communication, and be willing to speak their ‘language’? Assert ourselves as an absolute equal? Support them, financially, as they follow their ambitions? Relax our own standards a little, to avoid conflict?  

What specifically would we need to be and do, in order to become our version of a good child? Phone our parents every day? Take them shopping once a week? Not weigh them down with every issue and problem we have? Take an interest in their hobbies?


What specifically would we need to be and do to become our version of a good friend? Always be there, at the end of the phone? See them every day? Lend money? Babysit? 

What, specifically, does a good job mean to us? Does good mean well – paid, or high status, or coming with a guarantee of security? Does it offer potential for growth and promotion, or basic, consistent stability? Does it allow us to make a difference, regardless of salary? Does it serve a purpose, without demanding too much from us?

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Good is one of those words which are often used lazily and without much thought. As are happiness, success, security and contentment. And right and wrong are the same. We want to make the ‘right’ decision, but can’t explain in line with what. We don’t want to make the ‘wrong’ decision, but are unclear about what we are attempting to achieve.  We want to know whether we are on the ‘right’ track, but can only offer an undefined destination…..usually described as happiness, success, security, or contentment!

Good also comes with a potential problem…..resentment! We do need to be realistic, and not idealistic. We need to define what we are willing to do, and not what we feel we should do. We could fall into the trap of aspiring to be good, in order to receive approval and appreciation, from our children, partner, parents, friends, colleagues or boss. Good is an inside job, honouring our own personal standards and values, and it can only ever be about us and for us. Those we are being good for may not always value or appreciate our efforts, taking them for granted, or even disagreeing with them! But as long as WE know that we are operating from a considered, defined and honourable place, based on our own values and standards, we ARE on the right track! 








So what do you make of THIS reading? Is it your kind of thing, or not?

I have been clearing out my inbox (something I haven’t done for a while!) and sifting through my contacts, with a view to creating a new and updated mailing list, containing only the details of those who want to be there!

I came across the following email, sent to me by a friend in February 2006. It was a copy of a consultation she had paid for and received, from a woman on Ebay. I had recently joined Ebay myself, as a reader, at that time, and we were trying to figure out exactly how it worked. Anyway, this particular lady had amazing feedback, hailed as being incredibly accurate, which is why my friend decided to buy from her. I have not edited or altered the following typed consultation….and I will leave it up to you to decide what you make of it! There were one or two things that kind of made sense, but she was charging, and receiving, pretty good amounts of money…

Dear C********,
thank you for trusting me to read your cards.
i have studied your photograph and feel that i have been able to make a connection to you.
before i start on your actual reading i would like to say that the tarot is a guide to what lies ahead ,but you are the person with free will and choices that determine your destiny.
i am reading gypsy cards and laying a traditional celtic cross spread.
one of the first cards drawn is the strength card.this is the card that tells me something about you and to some extent it defines you.This card shows that you are only now coming into a phase of your life where your true strength(s) are going to become evident-to yourself and to others around are an intelligent and ambitious lady who has immense passion,harness that passion to a career  or business venture and you would almost certainly succeed.the question is would this passion and determination work well in partnership? i believe so.a man with blue eyes is shown as being significant in a future project.personalities will clash along the way but not unbearably so.i believe that you would actually compliment each others different whilst the cards are not saying that you WILL work together,it is certainly a viable option.
you have the psychics card yourself,that in itself is not unusual,most of us have some degree of psychic ability.its the positioning of the card that is all have very strong natural intuition or gut instinct and an interest in alternative areas and are very good at spotting developing trends and adding a personal are an intelligent and caring lady with an enquiring mind and a compassion and understanding for others.just learning to recognise and accept your natural intuition without questioning it too much will make a great difference to your life.So far so good..but all cards have a negative side  as well as a think TOO much!!you will also  be destracted as seeing everything from every different angle is not always a can talk yourself out of taking action and can lose can be hurt quite easily as you are one of lifes sensitives and can also feel as if you are not being listened too!!
the house move question is not will want to move but there are setbacks and delays along that path and i do not see the move taking place this year(i am rubbish at predicting timescales,but this reading is for approx 6-8 months ahead and there are aspects from further ahead throw in)
this is a rollercaster of a time ahead of you with  emotional highs and lows.
your are going to achieve a personal goal that boosts your confidence.this is a wish fullfilled card.
you love and are loved in return
i am picking up on a lot of movement and short journeys around your husband.there will be distance between you at times and that will worry you.i am not being given that it is anything major.
i cant see what your career is, so i will give the pointers that i have picked up on and see if it makes sense to you.
an idea,already discussed light heartedly with friends,will take hold,
i see you working for independantly  rather than for a large organisation.
using your skills and your creative enthusiasm  to promote a service/product that is different to anything available at this time.although alternative ideas are so strongly highlighted,you will make use of modern technology to widen your scope.
the next 18 months is going to bring a series of changes to your life,i believe that almost all of them are changes for the personally are ready for changes,challenges and the rewards that they is very much moving on to the next installment in your will have strong links to overseas at a later date too.
i hope that this reading has relevance to you, there is so much to look forward too and get excited doors are closed to you and i feel that the only area that you will find difficult initially is pushing yourself forward.
love and light
please feel free to contact me if this reading  is unclear or if it  raises new questions!

My friend and I also had a typed ‘reading’ from another person, without either of us being aware that the other had done so. I only discovered that we had coincidentally been drawn to the same reader when she emailed a copy of her consultation to me….and I realised that, word for word, it was IDENTICAL to mine, apart from our names. Once again, this person had brilliant feedback. Of course we both complained…she to Ebay, and me to the so – called reader. My friend got nowhere, and the response I received was certainly NOT from the person who had created the typed reading, because he/she could barely string two words together and couldn’t spell. The reading itself had been nicely written and presented, though very flowery and vague.

I tried to figure out WHY we had both been drawn to that (non) reader, apart from the excellent customer feedback. And I think it came down to the photo (which certainly wasn’t of the person in question!), an image of a smiling, warm and friendly looking young man.

It’s scary, isn’t it, how easily we can be hoodwinked and fooled, and how far a bit of sugar – coated flattery can go? For me, the worst part was the number of customers who were so impressed! And this is why intuitive work has such a bad press. And it IS a real shame that so many people would rather have something vague but complimentary and reassuring , instead of something with substance and authenticity. A woman once said to me, at a car boot sale, upon discovering what I do for a living, “Huh, I’m in the WRONG job…..I’d get easy money if I was doing what YOU do!” Well, in some ways, she wasn’t wrong, given the dark under – belly of the so – called psychic world…..but that didn’t stop me fantasising about flooring her with a punch, though! 


Not so Woo Woo…intuitive business guidance can save dollars, time, energy and reputation!

The Urban Dictionary.


woo woo

Unfounded or ludicrous beliefs.

Belief in talking to the dead, belief in telekinesis, in fact any belief not founded on good evidence, the poorer the evidence the more Woo Woo the belief.


The first email I opened and read this morning set my mental and emotional mindset for the day, in a very positive way!

It was from a customer who received her recording yesterday, a ‘mini’ consultation, 5 predictions on one specific subject. That particular listing does clearly ask the customer to state the subject they wish me to focus on, and also provide a brief outline of the current situation. However, maybe 40% of purchasers don’t provide any background info, and this lady was one of those. She said she wanted me to predict on her career, and that was it.

I knew nothing about her business/career, but I explained exactly what I was seeing and feeling, whilst ‘tuning in’. Now, given the contents of the finished consultation, there was a strong possibility that it was going to sound incredibly dramatic and a bit crazy….but it was what I was seeing, and so I all I could do was explain it as clearly as I was able to.

What I read this morning made me laugh out loud, in awe and wonder at the power of intuitive intelligence, and reminded me of what my work is REALLY all about!

The customer understood all that I had explained, because the circumstances were already in the early stages of play. She recognised the person I warned her was potentially very problematic for her, and she had been feeling incredibly anxious, uncertain as to how to proceed. As a result of the consultation she had reached certain conclusions, and made a couple of definite decisions that left her feeling relieved and more empowered. I genuinely believe that that £12 consultation has the capacity to save her hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars, hours of wasted emotional energy, AND her business reputation. Of course, the consultation alone has no power. The power still lies with the customer, and her willingness to be open to the insights provided, using them for her own benefit.

And you know, yesterday, I’d asked the energy of attraction to bring me a sign, within the next 24 hours, that I am indeed on track towards the goals I am working hard to achieve. So thank you (never forget to be grateful). Oh, and don’t forget that other thing I put out there at the same time, please….

I have actually read for this customer once before, some time ago, on the subject of love. And she’d responded very differently. Not rudely, but sadly. I didn’t tell her what she wanted to hear (although it was clear that she actually knew I was speaking the truth, deep down inside!). And for her to return as a customer, she must have found her previous consultation helpful, with ongoing consideration. The problem with ‘love’ consultations is that they are fraught with potential difficulty, because people are in a completely different place, emotionally speaking, especially when feeling insecure, or rejected, or lonely. But still, the reason for having an intuitive consultation is exactly the same, regardless of the subject: To gain insight and information that can be used to help us in our decision making…to empower us to make the most productive choices, and take the most empowering actions.  THAT’S intuitive intelligence at its absolute best……AND the reason I am still investing time and energy in this arena, despite the ‘woo woo’ reputation!#intuitivebusinessguidance


13 things to do for your future self, today.


Take some time to stop, breathe, and really ‘feel’ how your life is, right now. Be honest with yourself about how it really is, at this moment in time.

Don’t push uncomfortable feelings away, or just continue on auto pilot.

Consciously think about all of the good stuff in your life, then consciously think about the not so good stuff.

Look ahead, and ask yourself what you currently see. Not what you hope or wish for, but what you actually see, based on how things are, right now.

Ask yourself how what you are seeing causes you to feel.

If it causes you to feel hopeful, take some time to work out if you could increase the momentum.

If it causes you to feel hopeless, helpless or just downhearted, take some time to work out what you would prefer to see, that would leave you feeling better. 

Work out where you yourself could be better. Not perfect, or saintly, or self – sacrificial, but better. 

Remind yourself of all the stuff no – one else is going to do for you…the things that only you can do, for yourself.

File away an image, a feeling, a sense of the future you would prefer to see, as you look ahead, so that you can revisit it often.

Remind yourself that nothing ever stays the same, and that you will continue to move through space and time, whether you do anything different or you don’t. In another year you will be a year older, regardless.

Take one step today, toward your future self, and your future experience of life.

Tomorrow morning, do the whole thing again.



When you’re trying to be something to everyone…and THEY are being d**ks!

Yep, it’s a bit of a confrontational title, but it recently struck me just how many people are struggling with life, because others, usually their loved ones, are being incredibly self – centred. I am not talking about myself here, I am glad to say. Although I have a busy and demanding life, I am not in the unfortunate position of being consistently on the receiving end of someone else’s bad attitude (in the past maybe, but not now).

However, I have come across many worn – down, weary individuals who are getting up each morning, pasting on a smile, holding their breath in, and tackling the demands and resistances of those they feel responsible for. I have had many customers who are in this position, and sadly there is a limit to what I can do. They hope (and without hope, where would we be?), that somehow, someway, things will change…if they can just keep going that bit longer. 


And you know, they’re right to hope. Because time always marches on, and the circumstances we find ourselves in today will change naturally, over time, even if we do nothing different. Children grow up, elderly parents die, dysfunctional relationships improve or reach an end. It sounds harsh, but it’s true. How many times have you thought “I have NO idea how I am going to get out of this situation”, and yet you did. Me too. Here I am today, with the worst of times behind me. 

However, that is little consolation when you are gritting your teeth in the here and now, torn between people you love who just won’t get along, treading on eggshells, trying to figure out solutions that suit EVERYONE….with you just being happy and grateful to have ONE day of relative peace (from your relatives!).

And of course there is plenty of advice for those of us with this kind of problem:

Put yourself first

Ignore them

Tell them straight

Refuse to get involved

Don’t react to them

Slip extra strong sleeping pills into their dinner, and put your feet up (oops sorry…thinking aloud….probably better to ignore this one!)

There IS some common sense in all of these nuggets of wisdom….but if it was that easy, we wouldn’t have the problem in the first place!

So, if you are the kind of soul who sacrifices your own wants and needs for the sake of collective harmony, if you are the one who is aware of everyone else’s ‘issues’, whilst they remain blissfully unaware of exactly how their attitude and behaviour are impacting you, if you have become the central pivot that keeps everything functioning, ask yourself four questions:

How did I actually become the central pivot? 

What would happen if I ceased to be the central pivot….what if I died, or was abducted by aliens, or sent to prison, for example…what would happen then?

Am I willing to continue to be the central pivot until the dynamic changes, naturally, as life moves on, or are there SOME changes I could make now, that would make the process easier for me to handle?

How will I feel about myself, in the bigger picture if I choose to remain as the central pivot….will I feel angry with myself and others, or will I look back and believe that I did the best and right thing, in line with my own personal values, standards and ethics?


You see, you are in this position because you naturally feel responsible for others, because your values are big ones, bigger than those of the people you love but are struggling with. You are in this position because you are a caring person, a solution – seeker, because you have inner – world strength, and because you refuse to lie down and give in, expecting someone else to take the weight. Unfortunately, with all of that comes responsibility….which seems really unfair! More is expected of the strongest, less is expected of the weakest or most self – interested. By being stronger, you have to become stronger still! 

But you will never give up….because this is you, through and through. Because you would find it hard to accept and live with yourself if you didn’t keep going, even though you crave freedom from the effort, the stress and the strain. Because you have something so many others don’t have…a reasonable attitude, flexibility, a forgiving heart (even if it sometimes slips into a dark place!), the ability to see the bigger picture, a willingness not to make everything about you. And you will continue to pay the price, because that feels better to you, overall, than short – changing your own values and ethics! 

Having said all of that, you can probably compromise with yourself, and make SOME changes….start with just one. Make an agreement with yourself. “I will continue to do this, but I AM changing that”. And stick with it until it becomes a habit, not just for yourself, but for the tricky – dickies you are dealing with! They may well need to be re – trained, slowly but steadily (too fast and they will resist with every inch of their being). And you know, it is perfectly okay to love someone but not always like them. There’s a saying that sums it up nicely….a friend in need is a pain in the arse! 

I am going to finish this blog by touting for business (there’s always someone trying to sell us something!): I have opened an online shop, selling downloadable audio recordings…bite – sized chunks of self – help, and my most recent addition is entitled: Anxiety! Let it be your friend, not your enemy! You might find it helpful, and it IS reasonably priced! The link is below, and even if you don’t find anything that catches your attention today, keep checking in, because I will be adding more products. My business is all about personal empowerment…and YOU, the pivot, need to be fed regularly, if you are to have the will and the strength to do what is natural to your spirit!