I want to be a GOOD parent/child/partner/friend/boss.
I want to have a GOOD job/relationship/home/social group.
The word ‘good’ means nothing to our spirit (which is where the energy of our passion is created), or to our subconscious mind (which stores and operates all of our programmes), or to the energy of attraction (which attracts and repels, according to our transmissions). It doesn’t even mean much to our ego! However, what ‘good’ represents to US, as an individual, in a defined and feeling way, DOES!
So, if we say we want to BE or HAVE a good anything, we can’t just take it for granted that there is one bog – standard, generic version of good, that doesn’t have to be defined or explained to our own subconscious mind. We can’t think “Oh it knows what I mean!” expecting it to sift through our jumbled thoughts, looking for the stuff to it needs to accept, save and file away. We can’t measure our progress, or recognise when we are succeeding, if we are working with an undefined goal. We cannot reach a unnamed destination!
I say this often, but energy IS the essence of life…..the Holy Grail! Highly charged energy is much more likely to catch the attention of our subconscious mind, as well as that of the energetic force of attraction. It is much more likely to create a ripple and leave an impression. Adding colour and specific details, when shaping and forming a desired goal, brings it alive, and much more likely to become a reality…OUR reality!
So, if your goal is to be a good parent, define YOUR version of good parenting. Break it down, and recognise the components.
To some, being a good parent means being at home, always present. To others it means working at a job, to provide a certain standard of living.
To some it means imposing clear rules and boundaries. To others it means having a relaxed approach, with only basic rules.
To some it means teaching a child that he/she has to earn treats and privileges. To others it means allowing them to have everything they want.
To some it means regular, quality family time. To others it means allowing the child to spend more time doing their own thing.
And the same applies to anything that requires us to be good!
What specifically would we need to be and do, to become our version of a good partner? Learn to understand how they accept communication, and be willing to speak their ‘language’? Assert ourselves as an absolute equal? Support them, financially, as they follow their ambitions? Relax our own standards a little, to avoid conflict?
What specifically would we need to be and do, in order to become our version of a good child? Phone our parents every day? Take them shopping once a week? Not weigh them down with every issue and problem we have? Take an interest in their hobbies?
What specifically would we need to be and do to become our version of a good friend? Always be there, at the end of the phone? See them every day? Lend money? Babysit?
What, specifically, does a good job mean to us? Does good mean well – paid, or high status, or coming with a guarantee of security? Does it offer potential for growth and promotion, or basic, consistent stability? Does it allow us to make a difference, regardless of salary? Does it serve a purpose, without demanding too much from us?
Good is one of those words which are often used lazily and without much thought. As are happiness, success, security and contentment. And right and wrong are the same. We want to make the ‘right’ decision, but can’t explain in line with what. We don’t want to make the ‘wrong’ decision, but are unclear about what we are attempting to achieve. We want to know whether we are on the ‘right’ track, but can only offer an undefined destination…..usually described as happiness, success, security, or contentment!
Good also comes with a potential problem…..resentment! We do need to be realistic, and not idealistic. We need to define what we are willing to do, and not what we feel we should do. We could fall into the trap of aspiring to be good, in order to receive approval and appreciation, from our children, partner, parents, friends, colleagues or boss. Good is an inside job, honouring our own personal standards and values, and it can only ever be about us and for us. Those we are being good for may not always value or appreciate our efforts, taking them for granted, or even disagreeing with them! But as long as WE know that we are operating from a considered, defined and honourable place, based on our own values and standards, we ARE on the right track!