Trying too hard doesn’t get us anywhere. I can testify to that! Trying too hard creates intensity, and intensity creates blocks, and blocks prevent us from getting to where we really want to be. Not only that, intensity – blocks can keep us hanging on to whatever life is trying to steer us away from, because we can’t see the wood for the trees.
The most positively prolific times in my life, the most inspired and creative, have come about when I am feeling cheerful and smiling, when life feels ironic and funny, and when I am pleasantly grateful. Having said that, I HAVE also experienced little miracles when I have been under huge pressure, hanging on by the skin of my teeth…but that has involved more genuine emotion than intensity. Genuine emotion tends to spill out and over. Intensity tends to solidify and congeal.
Okay, it is easy to be cheerful and smiling when things are going great, but still, IF we genuinely hope to attract change, we have to consciously get out of the intensity zone…especially when things are tough. And we have to recognise where we are hanging onto situations that are a continuous b**l ache, giving them way more power than they deserve. It is odd how many of us (including myself) have continued to bang our head against a brick wall that most others can see will never, ever come down. Sometimes we even pride ourselves on our staying power, on our capacity for self – sacrifice. We can allow our imagination to run away with itself in an unhelpful way, convincing ourselves that the struggle we are experiencing is somehow noble, and that it must mean we are destined to succeed. We wonder why apparently ‘bad’ people get all the breaks, but that is because we assume that the law of attraction sits and judges us all day long, like some kind of cosmic Robin Hood, stealing from the ‘bad’ rich to give to the ‘good’ poor. Well, clearly it doesn’t, and to paraphrase Denise Duffield – Thomas, the reason ‘they’ have what we don’t have is that ‘they’ don’t have the blocks that we do. And to paraphrase myself, ‘they’ don’t waste time and energy on excessive analysing and crippling intensity.
However, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I am not saying that it doesn’t matter how we behave, and that we might as well have no conscience, and just be and do whatever we want to, regardless of who gets hurt in the process. Our motivation and our intentions will always be between ourselves and the great creative force of life. I do believe that the time always comes, for every last one of us, when we get to answer to ourselves for the nature and the quality of the life we lived. But the law (or as I prefer to call it, the energy) of attraction, is all about creativity…and that is ALL it is interested in. It can only work with us at an energetic level. It doesn’t judge, it responds. Ask yourself this: how do you respond to the energy of others? Do you prefer to keep the company of those who struggle, and who have ongoing problems and issues? Do you relate more to those whose lives are filled with struggle and bad luck, and who survive, rather than thrive? That might sound like an odd question, but if you really think about it, you will recognise just how much struggle and sacrifice is admired by people who are also struggling.
On the other hand we can put certain people up on pedestals, reacting to them as if they are gods. Anyone who greatly admires a person who needs a host of minions tending to their every whim, constantly protecting them from the lesser beings, needs to seriously question their own sense of self – worth. As does anyone who wants to BE a minion! There are many talented people I genuinely admire, who have skills I absolutely do not possess. But I don’t consider myself to be lesser as a human being, and would be incredibly disappointed to see these remarkable individuals demanding to be treated as if their breath gives life to the dying and their poop is encrusted with diamonds. Again, as will every one of us, they will have to figure out for themselves what their life was really all about, when the time comes to do so. But in the meantime, those of us who enable them have to ask ourselves what we are creating. We are telling the law of attraction that ‘these’ people are better than we are, and that they deserve to be forgiven for weird, demanding and self – obsessed behaviour, because they are special. And that we are not.
Don’t believe that creativity is only about painting, writing, designing, drawing, and composing. We are always creating, good, bad or indifferently. We create a conversation, a blog, an argument, a relationship, a home, a business, an attitude…a lifestyle. And it is our emotional creativity that the law of attraction responds to, in a neutral way. It doesn’t consciously care about us, it doesn’t work out what our issues are, pre – empting us and giving us what we need, rather than what we say we want. But I believe that the great creative force of life DOES care about us. Enough to give us absolute free will, in terms of our inner world, and our beliefs, thoughts and feelings. And we can change these anytime we choose.
I have found that the secret to feeling lighter, more hopeful and positive – which in turn leads me to attract more positive and productive situations into my life – is to get beyond my own boundaries, out of my habitual head space, and really enjoy….eat up and absorb…the energy of people who have the attitude of “Hey, what’s the problem? Isn’t life interesting? Let’s explore this and that. How’re you doing? Let me share this with you. What do you think about this?”
I can find “Life is tough, it’s all about struggle, I have to live in the real world, I have to have security, when will I meet someone who makes me happy, when will I be happy?” people anywhere and everywhere. I have been some of those people at times, but I always knew, deep down inside, that it wasn’t the way forwards. Even when I was in debt, in a dark, dysfunctional relationship, when I was considered to be a bottom – dweller by some of my relatives….I knew that it wasn’t THE way to think, feel and be. I knew I could think, feel and be better. And I have not changed my mind.
There are amazing people on this planet, who have such humility and wisdom and warmth, but also pride, and a strong sense of self – worth. I eat these people up, and I aspire to consistently be one of these people. I recently experienced a group of people who left me feeling as if I could create every dream I ever had, just through their attitude and outlook….but then I had to be able to see and appreciate that, and utilise it. I know a woman who, when invited to a wedding, and viewed the splendid and exotic buffet, huffed “Well there aren’t many sandwiches”. We can have sandwiches EVERY day! Jam, ham, cheese, corned beef, pork, spam, tuna, beef dripping, chips…and they are great! But let’s celebrate exotic….let’s pile our plate high, and gobble it up! Let’s say “I WILL have more of that, thank you sooooo much!”
Do you know, some of my customers argue with me. They are involved in some dysfunctional relationship, some old issue or problem, some old belief that is hurting them, a pattern of behaviour that is keeping them from the pathway that leads to their actual healthy, happy future. And because I have been an arguer, in favour of the harder, more problematic pathway, I can recognise it.
But I also receive lots and lots of feedback from those who have ‘clicked’…..those who say “I WANT change, and I WANT to feel better, happier, and be in a better position….I know it is tough to change, but you have shown me that I CAN, and that there is something worth changing for…that there IS something worth working towards!” And it is THAT energy that will take them forwards. Let’s feed ourselves, and others, with a can – do attitude, and allow others to feed us…let us push those boundaries, and give the law of attraction something great to respond to! Check out the email (below) I received first thing this morning….and you will understand why I started the day with a smile on my face and in my heart!
First of all thank you very very much for sending my consultation!
I have just listened to it and I seriously got chills and a bit teary at how accurately you pinpointed my situation. You were right in saying that overall I am doing okay but there is that element of fear and panic and anxiety that I have about it all.
Yesterday I decided enough is enough and I woke up today with a determination to not dwell on the negativity. So I got up with a purpose, made a “to do” list (not all about finding work) and have started to tick things off, and already it has given me an amazing sense of positivity and I feel like I am accomplishing things (even if one of the things was to wash my bed sheets! 🙂 )
I will definitely listen to this again, but just the first time round I was astounded at how you just got what has been going through my head.
Thank you thank you Thank you