Hey Leanne, what exactly IS a poor abundance mentality?
Thank you so much for asking…and you know what’s going to happen next, don’t you? I’m going to tell you (or at least explain my own version of it)!
Abundance isn’t just about money. It’s about opportunity, and being open to to receiving as well as giving.
A poor abundance mentality (let’s call it PAM for short!) is not hidden…we can’t pretend we don’t have it. It can be seen and felt by others, even if they aren’t aware that it has a title. It reveals itself through how we speak, how we behave…how we look, even. Its roots are connected to our past, and it is a part of our programming (every last one of us become programmed as a result of our life experiences, and the way in which we process them), and it is often tied up with our sense of self – worth and value. However, it is entirely possible to appear to be confident and brave, and still have a PAM. The good news is that, once we become aware that we are responding to the world with a PAM, by applying conscious and ongoing effort, we can change it.
My PAM definitely had its roots in my childhood, and over the years it gathered strength, gaining a pretty formidable strangle – hold. It revealed itself through the fact that I was always struggling for money, no matter how hard I worked. Through my increasing bargain – basement attitude. Through my sometimes self – destructive behaviour. Through unconscious acts of self – sabotage. Through the willingness to put up with endless amounts of crap, almost proud of my capacity to survive. I was flattered when others commented on how resourceful I could be, not recognising that I wouldn’t have to BE so resourceful if I healed my PAM!
However, I didn’t resonate with others who were also stuck in the PAM trap. I had noticed that some people who were skint and struggling often related to and identified with those in the same position, creating an ‘us and them’ divide. They’d separate themselves from anyone who was doing well, as if financial comfort and success was just a matter of luck, and only for the chosen few who weren’t averse to ruthless and dubious practices. I didn’t want to think that way, or be one of those people. But still, digging out the roots of old, programmed beliefs has been quite a task!
So, how do you know if you are approaching life with a poor abundance mentality? Take a look at the list, below, and if more than a couple of points resonate with you, you may want to ask yourself if there is room for improvement! I can tell you with hand on heart that many of these have been more than familiar to me over the years, and I am making no judgements!
This is not an exhaustive list, and is not in any particular order, by the way:
1) You consistently worry about losing your security, even though there is no real reason to believe that you will become destitute!
2) You are dissatisfied with your job, but still fear losing it or changing it.
3) You are in debt, and and believe you will never be free of it, unless you win the lottery.
4) You believe that your debt is not your fault, and that it is easier for others NOT to be in debt.
5) You spend on things that don’t/won’t actually enhance your life, because they make you feel better for a short period of time, rather than on something that would be an investment in your future. You are in constant survival mode.
6) You say things like “Why do footballers/rock stars/actors get paid more than doctors, nurses and teachers?” You don’t recognise that the reason footballers, racing drivers, rock stars, actors, reality tv celebs etc receive more money than the rest of us is because zillions of people pay to see them perform, AND buy their associated products by the wagon load. You yourself are probably funding some of these people, even if you have only bought a named football shirt for your child, or paid for concert tickets, or bought a dvd, or a celeb perfume. Anyone’s star can suddenly fall, and often does. Footballers get dropped, singers are cut loose by their record label, actors appear in fewer and fewer films, celeb perfumes are sold off for less than a tenner, and so many copies of 50 Shades Of Grey end up in charity shops that they have to put up signs saying ‘NO MORE!’
7) You say things like “There are no jobs out there” or “I have reached the limit of what I am able to achieve at work, and there is nowhere else I can go” accepting it as absolute, irrefutable fact.
8) You hang around the reduced food section, or make a bee – line for it every time you shop.
9) You ask friends and family how much they spent on this or that, judging them or envying them, feeling either superior because they have no common sense, or feeling depressed because they can splash the cash you can’t.
10) You regularly feel lesser than those who always seem to have the money for leisure and pleasure.
11) You often indignantly ask “HOW can they afford to live the way they do?”
12) You feel guilty over every penny you spend, especially when it’s on yourself.
13) You assume that anyone who ‘makes it’ in life had it easy.
14) You believe that only those with a full education can become successful and financially comfortable.
15) You assume that anyone who is ambitious and creates success has an excessive amount of confidence, and never experiences anxiety, self – doubt or fear.
16) You believe that you don’t have what it takes, and so what’s the point in raising your own hopes and expectations?
17) You identify with those around you who are happy enough to be unhappy enough, and you buy into their reasoning!
18) You allow a fear of failure and of letting other people down to dictate what you do and don’t do, not realising that every successful person has failed, at the very least once, and probably several times, along the pathway toward their achievement.
19) You stick with a limited routine, day in, day out.
20) You don’t seek out new information or experiences, saying that you don’t have time to watch something educational on YouTube, or read a book that informs/inspires you…because you are too busy with your familiar routine.
21) You believe that because there are people on the planet who are living in abject poverty, you have no right to need or want more than it takes to scrape by…not realising that your struggle doesn’t put one ounce of food on their plates, or answer their medical/educational needs.
22) You say things like “Money doesn’t buy happiness” when you have never had enough to know whether or not that is true. You cite the screwed up, dysfunctional celebs as evidence, forgetting the millions of people who DO have money, and are clearly happy and functional!
23) You believe you will change, and become one of ‘them’ (the ruthless, dubious lot) if you have any degree of wealth and success.
24) You buy lottery or raffle tickets, whilst saying “I never win anything”, or you believe that a lottery win is your only way forwards, becoming more downhearted and frustrated every time you don’t have a win.
25) You only ever shop in charity and discount shops, and say things like “I could get that for a £1 elsewhere!”
So, there they are, 25 signs that you may be struggling with a poor abundance mentality (and I am pretty sure that there are many others I haven’t included)! One sign that I haven’t included is defensiveness….a quick reaction, defending and justifying our position! The “I have ACTUAL reasons for my life being this way, thank you very much, that have nothing to do with me!” Been there and done that.
So, how do we get beyond good old PAM? Well, that’s a whole new story, in its own right. However, I will say that we can start by acknowledging that we WANT to change, and then by taking the first step, dealing with one misbelief at a time, and engaging in activities that inform and inspire us, that are an investment in our own future. Self – help, guidance from those who are in the know, association with people who aren’t bogged down in PAM, life coaching…anything that causes us to think anew, and see beyond the old restrictive boundaries!#abundance