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Fence sitters…booking a ‘3 specific question’ consultation….WITHOUT having any questions!

This might sound like the beginning of a rant but it genuinely isn’t! There IS a point behind this blog, so bear with me.

I recently advertised a special offer on one of my internet consultations, and the listing, as it appears on my website, is as below:

Three specific questions

Sometimes we REALLY want greater insight into where we are heading, and to become aware of what our options are! I ask for clear, specific questions, rather than things such “What can you tell me about….?” or “What does my future hold?” or “Just tell me anything you think I should know”. This is excellent for those who really want to focus on certain key areas of their life.

I will respond as comprehensively as I am able to, and as in depth as possible.

I ask for the client’s first name and age, plus the same for anyone to be included in the consultation, along with the specific questions (via ‘contact me’ page)

This consultation is spoken and recorded, sent as an audio file, via email: £30

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Pretty straightforward, easy to understand, wouldn’t you agree?

The problem is, no – one who purchased it provided 3 specific questions. I began to contact the customers to remind them of what was required for the consultation, but gave up, because those I spoke to couldn’t come up with any actual questions. The general response was “Well, I can’t think of any…I just want to know about my love life (or job, or where I am heading or what to do next with my life…).”

And THAT is the problem so many people are facing…an entirely self – imposed problem!

If we cannot connect enough with our own lives, in order to come up with 3 specific questions, even though we say we WANT change, we aren’t just sitting on the fence, we are nailed to it! Actively choosing a listing that states that specific questions are required, and then not being able to form any, is akin to going into a help – yourself – buffet style of restaurant, taking a seat, and expecting someone else to fill our plate for us. 

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We can’t get anywhere worth going from the comforting discomfort of the fence. There is an unfortunate lack of forward – motion ENERGY behind that approach. It is a low – energy attitude, that cannot possibly lead to genuine progression and success.

It is also tied up with a fear of taking responsibility for our own decisions, a fear of taking a chance, AND a desire to have a list of instructions and a map to follow…..a map on which someone ELSE has written an X on the spot where we hope our own destiny lies!

My business, my work, is about using my knowledge and skills to assist others to become more personally empowered. There is no shame in feeling stuck, periodically, of needing a neutral source of insight and guidance, and receiving predictions (which are, after all, forecasts). However, an old saying comes to mind: we can heal the sick but we can’t raise the dead. If we can’t muster the energy to take a good look at where we currently stand, work out what and where we ideally want to be, and narrow it down to a handful of relevant questions, we aren’t even on the starting line. 

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Some will say “Yes but it’s HARD”. Everything is hard until it becomes softer, everything is difficult until it becomes easier, everything is unknown until it becomes known. Those who follow my blogs, or are past customers, will know that my consistent, ongoing message is about commitment to our own progression, about getting out of survival mode and into growth mode. We are here to develop our spirit……and our spirit is NOT a fence sitter….our ego is. 

You see, the ego wants us to have what we want, without actually leaving our comfort zone. Its job is to keep us safe and alive. It isn’t interested in imagination, risk – taking, or change. It wants comfort and familiarity and gain, without having to move more than an inch or two.

The spirit is childlike, and it wants to be free to explore….it wants to jump off the fence and roam the meadow, climb stiles and paddle in streams.

We need the ego, whilst living out the experience of life on Earth, but we don’t need it to sit so firmly on top of the spirit that it struggles to breathe, let alone move!

IF we are genuinely interested in expanding our own horizons (and if we are booking the services of an Intuitive Personal Empowerment Consultant, it has to be assumed that we are), then we need to put some energy behind it. We need to be willing to form a relationship with our own spirit, and work with it.

We need to be willing to say, for example, “I know that I want to change my work situation, and so I am going to invest time and energy into working out WHY I do, and what it is I am actually aiming at. I am going to open my eyes and take a good look around me….what are the possibilities and potentials?” And THEN we can say “Right, now I am going to consult with someone who has the knowledge and the experience to assist me…to work WITH me….to help me piece together a new plan of action!” We move OFF the fence, place our feet on the ground, and take the first step on a whole new journey! 

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Someone recently messaged me on Facebook to say that she HAD to contact me there, because there were no instructions on the listings on my consultations page. I said that, right above the Paypal button she had just pressed, was a brief but concise list of clear instructions, covering what I required, and how to supply that information. She said “Oh, well I’m just lazy, I can’t be bothered to read stuff.” She then went on to advise me that I should put a video on my ‘start here’ page, because we live in lazy times, and no – one wants to read anymore.

I told her, in no uncertain terms, that whilst I appreciated her advice, the lazy people who don’t want to read are not my target market…I haven’t worked for years, developing my intuitive and life coaching skills, to run an intuitive/motivational fast – food business for those who have the attention span of a gnat (I recently came across this quote online: In 2015, the average attention span of an internet user was 8.25 seconds (down from 12 seconds in 2000). A goldfish can pay attention for 9 seconds, so we are now moving into gnat territory. Eileen McGurty).

We CAN’T afford to be this way….who even WANTS to be this way? Where is the human race heading, if we can’t commit to the journey of our OWN spirit…if everything has to come to US, in the way we think it should?  I need to earn a living….this week is a tough week, financially (we all get them), and I am continuing to work on expanding my own horizons. What I can’t…WON’T do…is shut up and sell my soul to the devil for the sake of income! Everyone out there who is living and hustling and moving and shaking…KNOW your message, KNOW your target market…know YOUR stuff, and keep pushing on. And if you are nailed onto that fence, tear yourself off and take the first, determined, considered step toward a more directed and fulfilling future. If you find the will and the courage to do so, there will be no shortage of assistance along the way.#sittingonthefence.

If you want to get anywhere in life, DON’T say these things!

It might be time to have a good old root around inside yourself…..well, inside your mindset, anyway!

If you have a number of vague hopes and ideas buzzing around inside your head like flies…if you consistently promise yourself that you are going to do this or that ‘soon’ or ‘one day’…if you have an underlying, uneasy feeling that you should be starting something or changing something, but yet can’t quite manage to get it together…you need a conscious internal declutter!

And the best place to start is with the mindless, sweeping statements and tired old generalisations we can all trot out until they become part of our story…..stuff we spout without even hearing ourselves. And the questions we ask, that are disempowering, rather than empowering, us.

Such as “Am I on the right track?”

There is nothing wrong with the question…IF we have specifically and clearly defined our intended goal or destination. If we haven’t, which is often the case, we are asking a question that can’t be answered. Who the hell can direct us to an unknown, nameless location?

Or we might say “I am at a crossroads – which way should I go?”

A crossroads is usually signposted. Blue Town this way, Red Town that way. If we are intending to travel to Blue Town, we know which way to go. If we have no real idea of WHERE it is we want to go next, we aren’t at a crossroads…we’re out on the moor and wandering.

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And there are statements a lot of people make, without question or challenge, that are so low – energy they should be illegal! And here are just a handful that have rankled me over the years…

At OUR age we need a bit of weight (I heard this several times, from women around my age and younger, following a 4 stone weight loss). 

No, we don’t NEED it!

Well, you just take each day as it comes, don’t you? (meaning “Well you just plod along, don’t you?”)

NOT if you want to experience life beyond the comfort zone, expand your consciousness, and explore your own potential!

I just want to be contented.

No you DON’T! Contentment is often complacency’s clever disguise. Contentment is okay for the cows in the field, chewing the cud, but not for human beings, who have the capacity to explore, create and develop!

Other people have tried doing that and they failed. 

Good for them…at least they tried! And they didn’t fail if they learned something, picked themselves up and kept going.

It’s alright for them to talk…it’s easy for THEM, with all their money. They should try ‘working’ for a living.

They probably have, and still are, but with a more productive attitude and approach. And even if they haven’t, what has that got to do with YOU? Your drive, or lack of it, is your business, and theirs is theirs! 

I don’t have time to do anything different…I am too busy with life as it is.

There is one thing every human being has in common: 24 hours in a day. It is true that at different stages we have different duties and responsibilities to honour, but we CAN definitely find SOME time in a day, a week or a month, to work on our own personal progression!

Slow down….take your time…..what’s the hurry?

There is a myth that people who crawl through life are smelling the roses, and drinking everything in. Generally speaking, they aren’t….they’re just switched off. There ARE times to savour things, slowly….but not 24 hours a day, as a matter of routine!

Well, I’ve achieved everything I want to…there’s nothing more for me to do.

So HOW old are…one hundred thousand years? We could live a million lifetimes and still not even scratch the surface of all that life has to offer, including challenges and opportunities to learn and grow. Maybe your wish list wasn’t a very long one…

I’d have to work, even if I could afford not to….I’d be bored otherwise.

Really? So, with enough money to be able to choose how you spend your day, you wouldn’t be able to find an endless supply of books to read, a thousand subjects to study, a million creative projects to immerse yourself in….places to see, things to learn, causes to support? If your reason to continue working was because your job/vocation fascinates you, and allows you to express a meaningful part of who you are, GREAT! But if it was because you couldn’t think of any other way to fill your time, you might want to take a fresh look at the world around you, and expand your horizons a little!

Are you ready for Christmas? (Okay, okay, I’m nit – picking now, but this question drives me mad and I just wanted to slip it in and moan about it!)

WHAT does that even LOOK like? I always picture a gaggle of middle – aged ladies, weighted down with shopping bags, on the starting line, ready to GO! It’s a joyless question, and NO, I’m NOT ready, with a stopwatch in hand, and a pile of stuff already bought, cooked, wrapped and decorated. Christmas STILL comes, hangs around briefly, and then goes, without me being ready. I want to be ready for a deadline, an opportunity, an opening, a launch…..but CHRISTMAS? No.

As you can see, I am not the most tolerant person on the planet, but whilst it is true that everyone is entitled to their own way of being, I don’t ever WANT to accept and tolerate apathy…it drags other people in and imprisons them, programming them to believe that this is ‘how life is’. The world doesn’t need this crap, and I will fight it to the bitter end! #disempoweringthingstosay

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2 servings of food for thought! Breaking bad habits and reprogramming the subconscious mind.

First serving of food for thought: Become aware of the consistent little habits that are having an unhelpful impact…..and break them!

Well, at least begin the process of breaking them today, and then continue with the process tomorrow, and then the next day, and the next…..until you no longer need to, because those darned habits no longer exist! 

I am nestled in bed as I type this, with a soft, plump cat curled up against my leg, and the first cup of tea of the day on the bedside table. Not a bad habit and not one that I want to break. However, I automatically reached for a packet of cheese Quavers, my favourite breakfast snack…..and stopped myself. I am not hungry right now. I would have mindlessly opened them and shovelled them in, whilst typing (albeit sharing with the cat), without even really tasting them. The Quavers aren’t the problem. The problem is the habit of mindless eating, and one I intend to break…..starting from now!

I also have to be aware of the habits that kick in the second I begin to emerge from sleep. The first thought of the day can so easily be “Right…WHAT do I need to tackle today?” Followed by “What time is it, how much business do I have in, how much money have I got, what do I need to pay, what else can I do….?” This stuff makes me feel ‘safe’, because it gives the illusion of control, and is familiar to my ego and my body….but it is a ‘blocking’ habit. It blocks the actual flow of creative energy, and reinforces the story of struggle I have long been sharing with the energy of attraction (see my previous blog!). And even though I kind of already knew about my first – thoughts – of – the – day habit, thinking about it, putting it in black and white and reading it back, has given me a jolt. What have been I doing to myself and my goals?? Talk about getting in your own way!

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Second serving of food for thought: Re – set and refresh your conscious mind! 

Instead of allowing another day to do its thing, whilst you tag along, remind yourself that time just disappears, and prod your conscious mind out of auto – pilot mode. Just because you always do this and that, and have the same conversation with the same people, and watch and listen to the same kind of stuff, it doesn’t mean that life IS this way…it means that life has BECOME this way! Some degree of routine is necessary and helpful, but routine has the capacity to rise up and take over, demoting the conscious mind to a bit – player in the film of your life!

Whenever we are living unconsciously, we are allowing the subconscious to run the show. Think about all of the things we do automatically, whilst we’re caught up in thinking about something else. Driving a car. Everyone gets from A to B without being 100% aware of what is going on, most of the time. So WHO is driving the car? Our subconscious! It knows what it is doing, because it has been programmed that way. It willingly takes the wheel, only handing it back to the conscious mind when something ‘unusual’ occurs, such as the car in front suddenly and unexpectedly braking.

And that is because the subconscious doesn’t think outside of its own box, and doesn’t create anything new…..it is a store of programs, that we ourselves, using our conscious mind, have created and filed away. ALL of the stuff we now know how to do without deliberate, conscious awareness. We don’t have to re – learn how to drive a car every time we get behind the wheel (well, most of us, anyway!). We don’t have to ‘think’ about how to make a cup of tea, get dressed, read the paper, put the washing in. The subconscious mind is there to allow us to live and develop and grow. It frees the conscious mind to think and imagine and create, and form programmes to file away for future use (the third aspect of mind, the UNCONSCIOUS, is a deep, dark cave filled with all of the stuff even the subconscious can’t handle, but that’s another story for another day!).

The subconscious retrieves information for us, too, stuff we know but can’t bring immediately to (conscious) mind. I was once trying to remember a particular person’s name, but had to give up. That night, lying in bed and almost asleep, the forgotten name suddenly flashed across my mind….I could almost hear my subconscious proudly yelling “Got it…found it!” It had obviously rooted through its filing system until it located the correct info, but then had to wait until my conscious mind was out of the way, in order to be able to deliver it. I love it when that happens! 

The problem is, WE can become lazy and unimaginative, and use our conscious mind less and less, relying heavily on our subconscious to get us through the day. And we can use our conscious mind negatively, programming our subconscious with really unhelpful and self – destructive beliefs, knowing that it is never going to argue with us….it just accepts, and continues to deliver!

And if we are not updating our subconscious regularly, with new and helpful programmes, we cannot possibly change, and we cannot grow and develop. We will grow older, in our body, with the same old mind we always had. Age alone doesn’t produce wisdom and vision, which is why there ARE ignorant old people on the planet! If we are prisoner to our routines, if we fail to feed our subconscious with new, healthy and interesting information, we will continue to think, believe, feel and act in the same old way, leading to the same kind of experiences, which will further strengthen those programmes that are preventing us from exploring our greater potential…..it’s a treadmill no – one wants to be stuck on! And God himself couldn’t give predictions of health, wealth and good fortune to the person who’s subconscious mind is running the same old, over – used, non – fresh programmes that have been in place for so long they are gathering dust!

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It’s simple and obvious. Think consciously, often and regularly. Be open to new information and ideas. Be aware when you are slipping back into auto – pilot, and take control of the wheel. Use your imagination positively. Involve yourself in some form of creativity, even if you aren’t a master. Listen to interesting and informative stuff on the internet, whilst you are getting dressed, cooking the tea, doing the housework (there will always be SOME degree of time available). Don’t keep filling your head space with crap, such as nasty soaps, ‘real life’ stories of abuse and deceit, and celeb drama (or at least seriously limit your exposure to it). I have heard people say “Ah yeah, but I LIKE that stuff….it’s fun!” No it isn’t…..it is s**t, and if you force – feed it to your subconscious, you might as well eat a daily diet of s**t yourself! 

If we want to keep growing and developing, and exploring, and creating new possibilities, we have to become consciously conscious, as often as possible! The energy of attraction is always aware of where our real focus is, even if we pretend that WE aren’t! And once we become aware of something we know we need to address, we cannot become unaware, even if we behave as if we have. So we might as well go the whole hog and regularly create new, inspirational programmes (habits!), repeating them until our subconscious accepts them as ‘truth’, and files them away for ongoing use!#subconsciousmind 

   

 

 

The LAW of attraction? I was wrong…it is ENERGY of attraction!

I talk and write a lot about the dynamic of attraction, for two reasons. Firstly, I am fascinated by synchronicity, and the impact of it upon my own life, and secondly, because of the nature of my work.

And I have come to the conclusion that there is no LAW of attraction (a principle of attraction, maybe) and my issue is with the word itself. We human beings seem to relish the idea of punishment and reward,  and often judge things as being good or bad, or right or wrong….black or white. And we love the idea of Karma taking revenge on those who have wronged us….

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If a status like this ever appears on my Facebook page, I immediately delete the person who posted it, from my ‘friends’ list, but maybe I should be shaking with dread and fear…..with God now obviously on their side, my own comeuppance (viewed from a ring – side seat) is probably just around the corner. I am disappointed with you, God….you’re hanging out with some pretty dumb – ass, dubious people!

But maybe Karma, like attraction, has nothing to do with punishment or reward, and everything to do with results and outcome. We are always, always setting something in motion, and EVERYTHING leads to something, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. Of COURSE we have to have man – made laws on planet Earth…I am not suggesting that every act of wrong – doing should be ignored. I am saying that Karma is about cause and effect, about outcomes, and balance, and that there is no such thing as a LAW of attraction…..but there IS an ENERGY of attraction! 

The problem is, most of the time it isn’t obvious!

And there is another problem. We have come to believe that the energy of attraction is largely about stuff…..material things…..about good luck, and having things go the way we want them to.

So, the way we have come to understand it is that karma is about punishment, whilst the law of attraction is about reward. And if we are really trying to manifest certain things, but they just aren’t showing up, then we’re not considered significant enough by the universe, and are being ignored at the very least, or deliberately neglected at worst. 

And when the universe has no interest in us, we have no power, and selfish, hurtful, bad people get all of the breaks , whilst we get all of the struggles.

Thank goodness we are wrong. Thank God we are wrong. Because being wrong means that there is hope, and when we change our mind and become right, the energy of attraction will respond accordingly, because it can’t do anything other THAN respond. But as I said earlier, it isn’t always obvious.

There is so much to express and explain where life and the energy of attraction is concerned, and even a hundred blogs couldn’t cover it. Whatever I say will be a mere scratch on an infinite surface. But to give a basic example, someone may ask “Why do I always meet the wrong kind of person, when I am looking for love? Why is life doing this to me…..all I want is to find someone I can trust, and who makes me happy.”

But deep down inside that person has aligned with mistrust and disappointment, where romance is concerned. They are aligned with the painful past, and the fact that they always meet the wrong kind of person. It isn’t easy at all NOT to become aligned with the belief that we will only end up being hurt AGAIN, when we have had the experience more than once. However, all of our reasons don’t cut any ice at all, out there in the energetic world of attraction….it doesn’t sit down and reason things out, it just responds to our deepest, most heart – felt beliefs and feelings.

I myself have been there, done that, and as they say, bought the t – shirt. And not just with relationships…….with….well, most areas of my life! I realised today that an old deep – seated belief is still doing its best to hang on to the sides of my inner world. It is weaker than it was, but it certainly isn’t dead yet. And that belief is that a struggle – free life doesn’t exist for me. I STRUGGLE to imagine a life without struggle….it almost leaves me feeling empty, somehow! And I am not talking about challenge, here. I am not talking about growth. I accept that these are necessary modes of development. I am talking about struggle, about having to earn every victory with blood, guts, exhaustion, sweat and tears. It is me doing it to me, through programming. And it is only me who can undo it to me, through re – programming. I have to be willing to genuinely let go of the struggle, and the idea that anything worth achieving has to cost several pounds of flesh. AND tied up with this wrong belief is another wrong belief….one that says if I have anything too easy, the world will not recognise and appreciate how hard I have worked. Somewhere along the line, I developed a disgust for anyone who appeared to have had it easy (even if they didn’t). And my sense of self – value is tied up with THAT wrong belief! If I am seen to be anything less than resourceful and endlessly willing to juggle plates, I won’t be good enough. In who’s eyes, I am not sure……my own, probably. I am the one who is setting myself up, and I am the one who is aligning myself with the glory of the struggle, more than with the air – punching jubilance of success and achievement.

But at least I am aware, and accept that the responsibility lies with me (regardless of the reasons behind my programming) am I am definitely working on re – aligning myself with a more productive belief! As I said in my last blog, who wants to live in a DED state:

Denial, Excuses, Defensiveness.

Not me.

And everything I have said is true for every single human being on the planet. I have, on occasions, had customers attempt to convince me that they are different from everyone else, that their circumstances really ARE unique, and that they really aren’t able to adopt any other kind of mindset…..whilst still requiring me to predict the kind of future they aren’t aligning themselves with. They will either change their mind at some point, or grow old and die, still believing that it’s different for them. 

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In terms of my work, I am a mirror, revealing and reflecting back the customer’s inner world, so they can see more clearly what they have been believing and feeling, and why……and where it is taking them in life. It is an empowering and productive service, though not one that is always immediately easy to accept. I am entirely self – taught, and proud to be so……it has been a hands – on, front – line education, with no ivory towers to hide in or preach from! Stick with me, kid….YOUR success is MY success, and I promise to pull out all the stops, as long as you don’t play DED….

 

 

 

 

The Law Of Attraction: AVOID heavy intensity if you want productive results!

I really needed a pair of flat boots or trainers, to wear when I go walking with the dog. I have several pairs of boots and shoes with heels, but only two that are flat…..and both are literally falling to pieces. So why didn’t I just go out and buy a pair?

Well, firstly, my money is all earmarked for other things, mostly bills. Secondly, right now, finding the time to actually GO shoe shopping is tricky. And thirdly, I kind of wanted to see whether or not a pair would just show up. And today they did…..sort of.

I was out on an errand, and passed a little charity shop that had randomly sprung up, amongst a row of houses. There were a couple of racks outside, displaying an assortment of boots, shoes and slippers, all in good condition. And all were priced, except for a pair of trainer – boots, which happened to be in my size. I took them into the shop, and asked if I could try them on. They fitted just fine, but then I discovered that they cost a fair bit more than all of the others on display, and I wasn’t so keen (what does that say about me?). Anyway, the lady kindly knocked a couple of pounds off the price, and the deal was done.

The question is, was that the work of the Law Of Attraction, or not? Some will say yes, and some will say no. Some will believe that the trainers should have just shown up, IF it was genuinely down to the LOA, without any physical effort on my part. But you know, having seriously studied and researched the subject, I can say, with hand on heart, that behind any notable thing that has manifested in my life, there has always been either strong emotion or action…..and more often than not, a combination of the two.

And I have reached the conclusion that life IS the Law Of Attraction, and that it is in motion 24 hours a day. It isn’t just something we pick up and use, in order to attract stuff……its thread weaves through the fabric of our life every second of every day. And it operates in different ways, and at different levels…..but it never, ever ceases TO operate. I am definitely going to write a book about this……there is SOOO much to cover!

Anyway, back to the trainers. It is true that I went TO them, and not the other way round. I could just as easily have passed the shop without a second glance, and returned home empty handed. It is also true that I was consciously aware that I was in need of appropriate footwear, for the purpose of tramping over hill and dale…..and so I was looking out for them. However, had they been priced, I would not have even bothered to try them on. And if the ‘other’ lady had been working in the shop that day, the chances are she would not have reduced the price (or so I was led to believe!), and so there WAS an element of ‘chance’ involved!

There was a time (especially after The Secret was released), that it was believed that visualisation, positive thinking and affirmations WERE the way to acquire anything that was desired……and a lot of people ended up feeling incredibly disillusioned. I tried it myself, and like so many others, felt like a failure when my life became worse rather than better (it felt worse because I was waiting for it to magically transform!). But that was because I didn’t yet genuinely understand…..and even now I am still figuring it out.

I thought about all of the major stuff and experiences that have come into my life, just when I needed them, and I realised that there was always a lot of emotion involved, and a lot of genuine need. And always some degree of action.

For example, I ‘attracted’ my first motorbike because I DIDN’T go to a bike rally I had planned to attend. My partner and I had decided to go to a rally that was many miles from where we lived, because our ‘anniversary’ was coming up, and it had been at that particular annual rally that we’d met. However, we realised that we couldn’t afford to go. The cost of petrol, entrance and camping for the week – end (fairly pricey), plus spending money…..we just didn’t have enough. We were disappointed, but I decided to look online, and I came across another rally, nearer to home, which was going to cost quite a lot less….and so we set off. And it turned out to be one of the best decisions we have ever made! Not only was it THE best rally we have ever attended (Last Wolf Mcc I applaud you), not only did we laugh more, harder and for longer, than we had done for a long time, but we met a guy who became a beloved friend, and HE sold me a bike that became beloved……something I so desperately wanted……AND he allowed me to pay for it in 4 parts, AND he bought it to Anglesey from the Wirral, in the back of a van. Now THAT was the Law Of Attraction at its sparkling best! 

But it still has to be said that conscious action was involved. I had no idea that that week – end would lead me to acquire my little bike (which I proudly rode, all the way to Cheshire, to the next Last Wolf Mcc’s rally!)….but it did. I feel I was led…..but it was me who listened and responded. 

And I have found two homes, when the need was absolutely real, and against several odds…..by listening, and responding with action. I have wanted many things that have not come my way, but then I didn’t have either the absolute need, or the absolute desire. I can’t say that is the way it works for everyone, but it definitely seems to work this way for me. 

Someone once asked me if the Law Of Attraction ‘works’. This lady was incredibly bitter, and could not see that in actual fact it was working perfectly in her life. She was not working on healing her mindset, her outlook, her beliefs, or her attitude, and her experience of the outer world was absolutely matching the darkness of her inner world. She thought that the Law Of Attraction should be about good stuff for her, about things going the way she thought they should, whilst she continued to boil and blister with rage. She was really into revenge and punishment, and proving others wrong, so that she could be right. She wanted what she had lost…..but she had lost it because she wasn’t functioning in a healthy and productive way, in the first place. She first spoke to me about 24 months ago. And when she contacted me again, to ask if the LOA works, she hadn’t moved an inch from her previous stance.

And this brings me to the conclusion: the Law Of Attraction appears to respond productively to strong, meaningful and productive emotion, and it responds productively to passion, and to real need and desire. And some form of decision making and action is usually required, in order to pull everything together, which is highlighted in a little story someone shared with me recently.

She was shopping, and noticed a large chocolate cheesecake, for sale at one particular stall. She thought “Ohh, I’d love one of those! Well, maybe next time!” The following week, she went to the same stall, to buy a small, individual version of the cheesecake, and the guy GAVE her, for free, a large one! He said it had been a competition prize that had not been claimed, and so she might as well have it. She viewed this as the work of the Law Of Attraction……and so it was. But if she had not taken action, if she had not physically taken herself to the stall, with the intention of purchasing what she could afford (the small one), she would not have acquired the large one! And okay, we can all come up with stories about random things that have found us, without any action at all, but more often than not either our own, or someone else’s, action, allows the Law to help us to be where we need to be, in order to benefit from whatever it is we have been ‘ordering’! 

And what we DON’T enjoy is when we have developed the habit of being incredibly INTENSE, and the Law Of Attraction responds accordingly……because that’s all it CAN do! I have never seen excessive intensity lead anywhere good…..and so I came up with this little story today (which I turned into a meme), whilst out walking the dog, in my nearly new trainers!

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No such thing as dead…but can we ‘feel’ it?

Two days ago, around 8.30am, I was walking through the woods with our dog. We had already been along the beach and back, and it was a lovely morning…..in fact more than lovely. There was a spiritual beauty in everything….the calm, clear blue sea, the sun glinting off several high – flying planes, all leaving iridescent trails in a cloudless sky. The sweet scent of white blossom, mingled with the coconut aroma of bright yellow gorse. The birds, dipping and swooping, a robin, fearlessly collecting tiny sticks from the pathway in front of us, ducks splashing around in the river……all set to a magnificent soundtrack of rock music, blasting through my headphones. 

And then, just as I had reached my favourite part of the woods, where the river bends, and the scurrying water tumbles over and around rocks and tree branches, something caught my attention, behind me, and to my right. I turned around to ‘see’ an elderly lady standing by the bench, and she was looking directly at me. She smiled, sat down, and patted the seat, next to her. I kept walking……I have been aware of non – physical people many times before, but tend to respond to them as I would to anyone ‘real’…..smile and nod, and go on my way. 

But something caused me to hesitate, and I went and sat alongside her, on the bench. I understood that she was small in height, slightly built, hair pinned at the back of her head, and dressed in black…..there was something very stylish about her! Now, it is important that I explain that when I said I saw her, I didn’t. I could see, with my eyes, that no – one at all was standing by the bench. But I COULD see, with my mind, that an attractive, well – turned out, elderly lady, dressed entirely in black, had sat herself down, and was inviting me to join her.

She exuded calm, and joyousness……and I just knew that this lady had been a real force to be reckoned with……and that she loved dancing, and God! She didn’t tell me this, of course. You see, the communication between those in the physical form, and those in the non – physical form, is about feeling, rather than words. I FELT her joy, I FELT her love of God…..except that it didn’t come to me as God, it came to me as The Lord. She expressed to me that we need to be true to who we are, and that human beings sometimes struggle to understand passion and exuberance and natural joy. She let me know that The Lord understands me, and ‘has my back’……and I am sure her name was Helen, or Ellen. Until writing this, I haven’t talked to anyone about the lovely lady on the bench. I kind of wanted to cherish the feeling for a while…..and the essence of a beautiful soul. 

I believe she picked up on my own energy, and the depth of my sense of gratitude and awe, for being with our beloved dog, on such a beautiful day, in such a wonderful, wonderful location, listening to my favourite music, with a head full of hopeful plans……and an underlying anxiety about HOW to achieve what I want to! I am really, really glad I stopped, and shared a few moments with her. I am unlikely to ever ‘see’ her again, but I will always feel her. 

More to our species

And it probably wasn’t a coincidence, because I had been giving the subject of communication, with those who have passed on, some consideration recently. I used to offer mediumship, as a service, and I used to give public demonstrations. I quit both, and I no longer include it on my website. If I am asked, specifically, I sometimes ‘tune in’ for a customer, but apart from that, that side of my work belongs to the past.

But not because I don’t believe. I have, over a long period of time, and after much questioning, contemplating and soul – searching, become entirely aligned with a much wider, broader and breath – taking aspect of existence. I have no doubt, whatsoever, that awareness continues, and that there are many, many journeys for each of us, yet to take. I believe entirely in the potential glory and power of the spirit (WE are a soul, I believe, and our spirit is the essence of us, and the nature of the relationship we develop with everything, whilst here in the physical world…..and that our spirit is the only thing we take with us when we die, apart from our awareness…..but hey, that’s just how I myself see things!).

It’s because too often spiritual connection or communication has been reduced to, and is judged upon, facts and figures. There is so little genuine, appreciative, gob – smacking awe…….so little ‘feeling’……that I couldn’t bear to be involved anymore. My brand of mediumship doesn’t translate well, in this modern world, if not all the time, then too many times. I want to express the essence, the energy, the quirkiness, of the person who has completed their physical experience. I want the reality of them to be the most precious part of the communication. I ‘see’ the communicator, not as solid (after all, when we die, the solid part of us is either burned or buried), but almost as a hologram. I ‘feel’ them, their personality, how they were before they died, and I ‘feel’ their energy. I pass on snippets of gleaned conversation, that have taken shape and form in my mind……and I always hope that the recipient feels it too.

Sometimes they do, and sometimes they don’t. Funnily enough, within the last week, I have given two consultations that included (by request) spiritual connection. On the first occasion, my way of working was well received, and I knew that the young lady who had died had been experienced by her friends……they felt her.

On the second occasion, the customer was unmoved and unimpressed. She had asked to speak to anyone, and I made six different links. She commented that one of the links sounded very like her uncle, who had died years before, and why on earth did HE bother to show up? I asked her, if he had arrived in a physical sense, would she have responded in the same way? Would she have said to him “I don’t know why YOU’VE bothered to come here!” She looked blank, and I knew she had no idea what I was talking about. He had not just shown himself, he had communicated so much about himself, and given a ‘message’, but it had all gone over her head. She went on to tell me about something she had been told at a spiritualist church, that had impressed her hugely. It was a relevant fact about a deceased family member, and I asked her what else was delivered, what else did she get from the experience. She said “Well, nothing, but it was PROOF”. And I felt really sad, again, that the spirit, the energy, the feeling of a deceased loved one is dismissed as unimportant. And of course there IS no such thing as proof, only evidence. I have found that too many mediums are more intent on attempting to prove that the consciousness continues beyond this physical experience, than they are on really allowing the energy of the communicator to be experienced and savoured. It then becomes about how ‘good’ the medium is, and not about the actual connection. Which is why I hold my hands up, and say “You know what, there are mediums out there who deliver what most people want, in a better way than I can, and so I am happy to bow out and focus on other stuff.” But I STILL see and feel those people, and I STILL know for sure that the energy and passion and emotion we put into life, WHILST we are physically alive, goes with us when we come to the end of this experience called life on Earth. I want to really FEEL the energy of the communicators, not just know that they wore blue shoes and a red hat…..otherwise how can I know that they are still ‘alive’?#spiritualconnection 

 

6 attitudes that will help us to get to where we want to be!

Getting anywhere in life is hard work, but hey, what’s the alternative? Not getting anywhere? Or only getting part way? I sometimes wish I didn’t WANT to get anywhere, but, in reality, I prefer the strain and the impatience that comes with having plans that require huge effort, organisation and self – discipline, to NOT having those plans. I can see and feel how things will be when I create what I want to and make it real, but right now there a few empty spaces, waiting to be filled with the stuff I haven’t yet made real. And I bet you feel exactly the same way.

It doesn’t matter what your goals are, big or little……..they will still demand a lot from you! Losing weight, reaching a certain level of fitness, learning to bake and decorate gorgeous cakes, finding a new home, attracting a decent, mutually supportive relationship, gaining a qualification, visiting a particular country, writing a book, starting a business……..whatever gives you that big buzz, every time you think about it. And it all starts with attitude……

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THE ATTITUDE of knowing WHAT you want, and WHY you want it. If you can’t pinpoint why your goal is so important to you, you may well flounder and find yourself giving up, when life throws one of its curve – balls your way. You’ve heard this a million times before, of course, but it isn’t just a self – help platitude……it is a self – help attitude!

THE ATTITUDE that pushes you to seek out as much relevant information as you can find…….to flood your mind with stuff that matches your goal. I am surprised by the number of people who tell me that they really want to achieve this or that, but who are not drawn to immerse themselves in the subject. If we can find time to waste time, then we do have SOME time to dedicate to our ambition! I know people who have started businesses, but who have no passion FOR business, and who do not study or follow those who are already clearly and obviously successful……and it shows.

THE ATTITUDE that accepts that although failure is tough, it’s not the end of the world. I was chewing things over, a few days ago, whilst driving, and listening to radio 4. They were talking about the need for a programme, similar to the old space programme, that would allow real exploration of the oceans. A guy who had been campaigning and campaigning, and failing to get anywhere, said “You just have to pick yourself up and write another proposal”, and I thought “Hell yeah! Thank you…..I WILL!”

THE ATTITUDE of anticipation. I know that if we can’t be happy now, we are unlikely to be happy when we get what we want. Happiness is, as they say, an inside job. A very unhappy, resentful woman told me recently that she would be happy when she was living in a home she owned, rather than rented. Another told me she would be happy if she could move to Australia (even though she’d never been there). I said that there was only one problem. They would be taking themselves with them. HOWEVER, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a bit of yearning, a lot of day – dreaming…….and a dollop of desiring! It’s wonderful to have something that makes us smile whenever we think about it, to look forward to! It gets us through the slow and flat times.

THE ATTITUDE of…….wait for it……you’ve heard it before……gratitude! Blah, blah, blah. I promise you, genuine gratitude is like the juicy filling in a cake, which, on its own, would be okay but not delicious. You know what to be grateful for…..all the usual. Family, friends, pets, health, medical care, technology, education, transport, community……..your home, your job, the first cup of tea of the day etc. But how about stuff like this: we were walking with the dog through the woods, a few days ago, and the weather was beautiful. We sat for a while (Dave’s foot is still badly damaged, following his accident last year) and we got talking to a lady. She was taking pictures of the greenery and the river, to send to her daughter in Abu Dhabi……which led to a discussion about Formula 1. The lady knew a bit about it, as her son – in – law and grandson liked to go to the Grand Prix, when it was there…..which led to a discussion about Lewis Hamilton! She was really nice, laughed a lot, and so easy to talk to. I counted that chance meeting as a bonus, and included it in the lovely memory of that walk. Gratitude keeps us young and keen, regardless of age. The most uninspired and uninspiring people I have met have been those who have told me they have nothing to be grateful for……and when asked about all of the above stuff, their response? “Yeah well, you just take that stuff for granted, don’t you?”  And some of these have even had the gall to tell me that they want to be ‘successful’…..as if!

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And finally……THE ATTITUDE of attitude! Our attitude needs to be compatible with who we say we want to be. Having a good attitude doesn’t mean we have to be saintly and self – sacrificial. A good attitude is one that has been considered, and that runs in line with our ambition. If that ambition requires us to be determined and directed, straight – talking and consistent, then so be it. We will never adopt an attitude that will sit well with everyone, and we shouldn’t even try. If we have a ‘bad’ attitude that leads us to be consistently difficult and unreasonable, we always know it, deep down inside. I myself have had many conversations…….well, debates, really……with my own attitude. Especially when my ego steps in, telling it to ignore me. My spirit then steps in and tells my attitude to ignore my ego. Who wins depends upon who happens to be more persuasive that day, but my spirit is definitely getting better at gaining the upper hand. Well, most of the time, anyway.#attitude